Tips for Handling Grief During the Holidays

The holiday season is typically filled with merriment, celebrations and long-standing traditions. But many individuals and families who have lost a loved one feel lost, alone and overcome with sadness and anxiety. Hope Hospice’s Grief Support staff members say that these feelings are normal and very common – especially during the first year of death.

“Just seeing festive decorations at the mall or reading holiday recipes in the newspaper can trigger a variety of emotions,” says Lee Ann Morgan, MSW, Hope Hospice’s director of Grief Support. “People often tell us that they feel fatigued or have low energy. Others have described their feelings as a ‘hollow feeling’ in their stomach. Many have expressed a sense of guilt, regret or anger.”

Morgan explains that oftentimes, individuals withdraw from social activities, hide their grief and even begin to question their faith.

Strategies for coping during the holidays:

While grieving is a natural way to process a loved one’s death, certain events or situations can make things more difficult.

“When you are mourning, there is no magic solution to make the holidays feel better,” says Morgan. “Everyone has their own experience and must find their own way through this difficult time,” she continues.

Yet, there are some strategies that can help make things easier.

We encourage individuals and family members to make a personal plan that will help you navigate the holidays. Ask yourself: What the three most difficult parts of the holiday season will be for you? What will be the easiest? What things are likely to trigger feelings of grief – places, events, foods, music? Who do you look forward to spending time with? What things will soothe and comfort you? Who will you turn to for emotional support?

Make a break from tradition:

This is your opportunity to do things differently. Perhaps there are things that you really don’t enjoy but simply do out of habit, tradition or obligation. Is there a job that can be shared? You don’t have to do everything by yourself.

Keep some traditions and start some new ones.

Some helpful tips:

● Don’t hesitate to ask for help when you need it.

● Lower your expectations.

● Look out for yourself -- make time to exercise, eat properly and get adequate rest.

● Include your loved one in your holiday celebrations.

● Look at photos, or make that person’s favorite dish.

● Help someone else.

● Spend the holidays with people you enjoy.

● Spend some time alone to think.

● Most of all, remember that it’s okay to feel sad and it’s also okay to feel good.

Holidays may bring forth powerful memories that can trigger your grief. It is important to find ways to take care of yourself during this time.

Information submitted by Hope Hospice of Dublin

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