Comedian Rita Rudner is selling her $9 million Dana Point beach house.
What do get for your pocket change? Majestic ocean views. Five bedrooms and five bathrooms. A Jacuzzi. Retractable glass doors aplenty.
And -- as she describes in the YouTube real estate video above, which she essentially turns into a highly entertaining stand-up routine -- you also get a "paparazzi-free patio," a table that's "100-percent table," and a fireplace, which Rudner and her husband "stare into, drink, and argue."
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Also included: a free tissue!
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