A Love Letter To Doug

To celebrate Valentine’s Day, we asked Patch readers to write a love letter to that special someone and let us deliver it. This is Cathy Loop’s love letter to her husband, Doug:

Doug,

I'm taking you back to 29 years ago. It was 1989, and I was pretty much at my lowest point in my life. It was also the night I met you. Our mutual friend coerced me into going out in hopes of lifting the dark cloud that hung over me. She wouldn't take "no" for an answer.

We walked into the nightclub and she introduced me to you and your friend. I still can't unsee what you were wearing that night. You were sporting a button down shirt, turquoise plaid balloon/parachute pants (whatever they were called!) and turquoise keds without shoestrings. I, on the other hand, had on a prim and proper black-and-white dress with a lace collar. Church lady meets metal head. I was ready for an impromptu sermon!

You spent most of the time on the dance floor head banging to AC/DC. I spent my time conversing with your friend Kendall who had a really cool Australian accent -- only to find out later it was a fake accent. Thanks, Kendall.

After a short time I decided to leave, only I didn't want to walk to my car alone since it was parked a distance away. You took a break from dancing and walked over to where I was sitting alone. I could tell you were a good guy, safe and friendly, so I asked if you could walk me to my car. You said, "Sure." So we get to my car and you asked me, "Would you like to go out sometime when I'm in town?" I was taken aback since we hadn't spoken but five minutes all night. But I thought to myself, “He seems like a nice guy,” so I gave you my number.

You traveled for work so you called me several times over the next few days. After a couple of failed invitations, I agreed to have dinner with you. I thought, "If anything, we won't be at a loss for conversation." I had zero expectations.

Our first date was at Black Angus. You took your fork and flicked every vegetable from your salad onto the paper placemat, leaving only lettuce. I said, "What are you, five?" You laughed. At the time my two boys were seven and eight years old, and they ate all their vegetables!

I was 29 at the time, a single mom, and you were a preppy 24-year-old. What was I thinking? You seemed so young. I felt I had lived a lifetime. You were a recent college grad that had just returned from teaching accounting in England and I was a working class girl, raising two precious young boys.

So, the first date went well. You were interesting. Definitely unlike anyone else I had ever dated. You were confident and very intelligent (even if you didn't have the sense to eat your vegetables). Afterwards, we went back to my apartment where you proceeded to play video games until about 11 p.m. (the kid you were) until you set out for your hour-and-a-half drive home. You said, "I'll call you," and you did!

Our very next date you invited me to a wedding. I heard a knock at my door and when I opened the door, what a sight. You had on a beautiful suit and tie, matching suspenders and even your socks matched perfectly. You cleaned up nicely and that wasn't a boy on my doorstep!

After that we continued seeing each other and our long distance relationship grew over the two years we were apart. You moved closer and we dated another three years. I admit, there were several times when I thought, "I don't know if I can wait for you to grow up!" I was already raising two boys of my own.

During that time you coached my boys basketball team and took us to a lot of Trailblazers games. We took trips to the beach, the Grand Canyon, your hometown Portland, Hawaii, etc. The four of us shared a lot of fun times. Your college friends were baffled at your relationship with an older woman with kids! How fun could that be? But you weren't one to be influenced by others.

On July 16, 1994 we married in a simple ceremony surrounded by family and friends. When the boys were 16 and 17 we had our daughter. A couple of years later, our son. You were the best influence ever for the two boys. You still are. They easily grew to love and respect you and continue to look up to you. You have been the best father to our two children. Never have you shown any bias with any of our four children, just patience and love.

Now here we are, you finally grew up but there's still that kid in you that I love so much. You've done well for yourself and our family. You've worked so hard and more than not, you've been selfless. We are so proud of you.

Now, it's just you and I here. Our last one off to college. With a bittersweet farewell we are leaving our home of 17 years here in to start anew in another town. I can't help but think back over all the years, when church lady met that head banging college boy. AC/DC can still be heard throughout the house. I'm so thankful our friend didn't take "no" for an answer that night.

I remember thinking you were an answer to prayer. You still are. Thank you for loving me. I thank God for you.

--Cathy Loop

See all Patch love letters here.

For next month's Love In A Small Town feature, we want to know: What place in town will always be a reminder of love for you? Whether it's the park where you had your first kiss or the restaurant where he proposed, email your story to locallove@patch.com for the chance to be featured. Get more details here.