This Friday evening, Jewish people throughout the world will be gathering in houses of prayer for the day of atonement -- the day of Yom Kippur. It is at this time that we are asked to come “clean” and acknowledge our shortcoming and our “slips ups” especially our relationship to others.
It is at this time we search within ourselves and reflect on our behavior since the last Yom Kippur. We seek forgiveness from those that we have hurt and for whom we have caused pain.
And then comes the art of forgiving. How does one acquire the ability to forgive?
There is a place inside us that is entirely committed to our relationship with our inner light, our soul. In that place, resentment is a distraction, and festering resentment clouds our view.
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The Chassidic masters teach that authentic forgiveness is predicated upon the belief that our true existence is that light. Thus, nothing in our journey is a mistake: both the good and the opposite have meaning and are purposeful. True, someone poorly chose to bruise my ego or perpetrate abuse against me, but that person and the hurt he perpetuated is seen as the “messenger” not the cause. In other words, no person can affect me without the consent from on high.
This perspective is not an easy calling, but, when our desire to connect to our inner bright light is emboldened, we can utilize our challenges and bruises as a Divinely ordained learning experience. Conversely, when we access the depth of our soul, we find the possibility to forgive those who did us an injustice.
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There is a story in the Kabbalah about Rabbi Abba, the scribe of the Zohar, sitting at the gateway of the Town of Lud.
He saw a traveler sit down on a pile of rocks at the edge of a mountain overlooking a cliff. The man, exhausted from his journey, immediately fell asleep. R. Abba watched this innocuous scene for a bit until to his dismay he watched as a deadly snake slithered out of the rocks making its way toward to the sleeping man.
It all happened so suddenly. Then, a giant lizard jumped out between the rocks and killed the serpent.
The man soon awoke and as he stood up he was perplexed to see a beheaded snake lying in front of him. He quickly gathered his possessions and rose to continue his journey. At that instant, the pile of rocks he was sitting on suddenly collapsed and fell into the ravine below.
The man was about to wander off when R. Abba ran after him and recounted everything he had witnessed. R. Abba asked the man, "My friend, to what do you attribute all these miracles that just transpired?"
The traveler at first did not want to be bothered but felt the sincerity of R. Abba's question and confided in him.
"Throughout my life I have never let a person harm me. Never have I gone to sleep without forgiving someone for hurting me in any way. Anyone who would hurt me would I endeavor, with all my heart, to resolve whatever animosity was between us. And lastly, I would turn the hateful situation to doing acts of kindness for the person involved in the misunderstanding."
Do you have a story of forgiveness that you would like to share? Please email me at rabbi@jewishmalibu.com
You are welcome to join me, and the Chabad of Malibu community, in prayer for Yom Kippur Services. Please register here.
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