International Overdose Awareness Day Candlelight Vigil

International Overdose Awareness Day (IOAD) is a global event held on 31 August each year. Events around the world aim to raise awareness around overdose and reduce the stigma of drug-related death and substance use disorders, while also providing the opportunity for loved ones to grieve openly for those lost to the overdose epidemic. I never thought overdose would touch my life. Tragically, I’ve learned that drugs do not discriminate.

IOAD acknowledges the grief felt by families and friends remembering those who have died as a result of drug overdose and works to spread the message that many overdoses can be preventable. We have recently learned that the CDC has estimated that 72,000 people in the United States have died from overdose in the year 2017 alone. That is about 197 people a day and about one death every 7 minutes. This is just overdose and does not include other deaths that are related to addiction. There are many deaths due to addictive illness and addiction is not just opioids. Alcohol and other drug related deaths are on the rise as well.

According to the United Nations’ World Drug Report (2017), about 250 million people, 5 % of the global adult population used drugs at least once in 2015. Of these 29.5 million people are estimated to suffer from substance abuse disorders. It was estimated there were 207,400 drug-related deaths (43.5 deaths per million people), of which between a third and half (69,000-104,000) were overdose.. This means that there are twice as many family members who never thought that this epidemic would touch their lives either. I want them to know they are not alone in their grief.

I am someone who has lost many I love to overdose and have felt the stigma of addictive illness. My oldest daughter, Candice Norton, passed at age 18 on February 15th, 2005 from a methamphetamine overdose. My mother, Louise Martinez, passed at age 61 in October of 2009 from prescription drug overdose. Tragically, my younger cousin, Stephanie Melcher, passed at the age of 21 from heroin overdose in 2016. They are the faces of these statistics and we are the real families whose lives are forever changed.

I can tell you stories of dreams, laughter and tears for each of person I’ve lost. Candice was truly a fiercely loyal sister and loved her mommy so much. She was kind to her disabled brother, loved softball and her friends. She loved to laugh and dance like no one was watching her. She dreamed of being a nurse and helping others. She was young, impulsive and resistant to treating her mental health disorder. Her presence in our lives is missed so much every day. Yet, I have heard comments of “why didn’t you control her better’ and “it’s the environment that makes a child an addict ” My child was an All-Star softball player with a large loving family who didn’t even have alcohol in our home. She went to the same school her father did and lived in the same house and neighborhood where her grandparents lived in La Mesa. We tried treatment centers, church and self help groups.

My mother was a mother to all my friends, helped the underdog, posted 20 pictures that my children colored in her room and held my babies when I was too sad to do so after Candice’s passing. She struggled to keep her dignity and grace when having degenerative back disorder that put her into a wheelchair and on oxycontin. Our family did not know about naloxone and its ability to save someone if they misuse opioids. Her spirit lives on in my 4 other children. Although, the memories of her are no longer clear to them. My siblings and I miss having our mother to talk to when life is happening around us.

I can tell you stories of Stephanie’s free spirit. Our family was estranged for many years until we found her mother, Penny. Penny fought cancer and won for a while. (That is another story in itself and maybe one day I’ll share.) Before Penny lost her battle with cancer she shared Stephanie with me. She was a her brilliant, funny, sparkling young daughter, with dreams of becoming a Veterinary assistant. She loved animals and her family. Stephanie and I shared stories and laughter by a bond fire once. She and I would chat after Penny lost her battle to cancer. She also struggled with addictive illness, like myself. I miss those chats of hope and change. I promised her father that I would never allow her amazing spirit to be forgotten. Stephanie’s spirit is with me as I join others on International Overdose Awareness Day.

I have learned that drugs do not discriminate. It did not matter age, class, state or education. As a mom, I questioned every single judgment call I made in my child’s life, every interaction with my mother and my cousin. I ask myself what I could’ve done differently. The fact is I am powerless over everyone else’s choices, even horribly ones. As a mom you try to guide your children. As a daughter, you try to be respectful of your mothers’ choices. As a cousin, you try to listen and give honest advice. The bottom line for my family is that the last choice all of them made changed our family forever. We now grieve for them and are left with undying love.

No matter how someone passes you have a right to grieve them without judgement. There are many support groups for many different things. There is only one for people who lost someone to substance misuse. I found Grief Recovery After a Substance Passing (GRASP) in 2010. At that time there were only 10 groups across the USA. Now we have over 110 groups in the USA and other countries. We are a group that comes together to help each other without stigma or judgement share in a traumatic journey of grief. I started a local chapter in 2011 in La Mesa and still run it today.

We now have four chapters of GRASP in San Diego County and have banned together once again to host the 3rd Annual International Overdose Awareness Day Vigil and Memorial pier walk. We will share our loved one’s pictures, say their names, shed tears, honor the lives that touched us and talk about sensible solutions. We believe that raising awareness of the impact of the disease of addiction will contribute to reducing the stigma associated with addiction and help individuals with substance use disorders recognize that they are fighting a disease and that there is help available. We are more than statistics, we are the families caught in the crossfire of the overdose epidemic. We invite the community to come and support us in bringing awareness in a candlelight vigil on August 31st 6pm- 8pm located at the The Strand North at the Oceanside Pier, South Pier Plaza bleachers located in Oceanside California.

If you need more information about this event or GRASP please contact: http://grasphelp.org/ or Shawnmnorton@yahoo.com

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