Helping Parents Cope with Stress Associated with Being A Parent

Today’s world can be very stressful for children and for parents. Parents worry about keeping their children safe with all the things that can happen to a child on the internet and then there are the mass school shootings parents worry about. All of these issues great stress but their is very little a parent can do.

In addition to the stressors above, parents worry about being able to afford things their children need now and in the future. As a result, many parents work a lot of hours. However, then parents worry that they are not spending enough time with their children. This results in parents who are very stressed and at times over react to what their child may do. This helps no one and adds to the problem. While I was reviewing articles about parental stress, I read an article by Jill Hope. She took a very similar approach to parental stress and makes many of the recommendations I make. I have included these strategies below that parents can use to help them decrease their stress.

Strategy #1: Apologize to your children

Children are very forgiving. By apologizing to your kids, they learn to take responsibility for their actions. You acknowledge that YOU were responsible for your own behavior, and you show that you are taking steps to make amends.

Strategy #2: Forgive yourself

As a parent, you are responsible for raising another human being. You are their role model. With that said, you are also human. And human beings make mistakes. In fact, mistakes are one of the best ways to learn and improve. When you continue to hold on to the negative energy of self-abuse after making a mistake, your children will absorb this energy. They will learn that when they make a mistake, it is okay to continue beating themselves up about it. By acknowledging your mistake, learning from it, and then forgiving yourself for it and letting it go, you are letting go of the negative energy field that has formed around you. And you are also teaching your kids to forgive themselves.

Strategy #3: Make time to be “present” with yourself

With all of the demands on you, the last thing on your mind is probably finding time for yourself. But finding a consistent block of time to become quiet and settle in to yourself can take the intensity off your reactions. It can take you down a notch. When you feel anger bubbling up inside, you may find yourself better able to “soften” before you blow up. You’ll find it easier to put some space between your angry thoughts and your true, peaceful and loving self. Again, this is about “quality” time and not “quantity” of time. Ten minutes a day of sitting with yourself, closing your eyes, and quieting your mind by focusing on your breath is a huge step in the right direction.

Strategy #4: Start each day fresh

Each day you have an opportunity to make a fresh start; to act in a new way. If you’ve behaved in a way that you are not proud of, don’t dwell on it. Before you get out of bed, spend a few minutes thinking about how you want to day to unfold. Don’t focus on what you ‘don’t’ want to happen, only think about what you ‘do’ want to happen. Don’t think “I am not going to yell today”. Instead, think “I am going to remain calm and peaceful today.” Focusing how what you want to see, instead of what you don’t want to see, attracts that. If you focus on the negative, you attract the negative. There is a saying “that which you give your attention to expands.” Put your attention on what you want to see and watch it expand.

Dr. Michael Rubino has over 20 years experience as a psychotherapist treating children and teenagers. For more information regarding Dr. Rubino’s work visit his websites www.RubinoCounseling.com or www.rcs-ca.com.