Who is in School? You or Your Child

It is getting to the end of the school year and the deadlines for the final projects, papers and tests are just around the corner and so are the final grades. Some parents are worrying will their child do well enough to advance to the next grade and other parents are worrying about their teen's GPA. Will they get the grades they need to get into a good college.  These concerns are normal for parents, but parents need to remember who is really going to school. You already completed school it is your child who is going to school. So if they don't get the grades to advance to the next grade or the grades for a good college then your child needs to learn how to deal with those consequences.
Yes, there are kids who are trying very hard in school and for some reason they are having a problem with a subject or project.  What does the child do, they ask for help. Not a problem, they have been trying and struggling with a subject and they ask a parent for help and it is appropriate for a parent to help.  It is not appropriate for the parent to do the work.
You also have the teens who have not been taking school seriously and have not been trying.  They have been on the computers or IPads playing games, going on to Facebook or watching movies. On weekends they have been spending most the time with their friends because they need to relax.  So they have not been taking their school work seriously and ignoring it.  However, now that it is the end of the year they are begging you for help and asking you to talk to teachers for extensions.  I hear many parents say, "I know they should have been doing their work, but I cannot let them fail."  Why not?
when your child gets a job are you going to be there to do their work for them so they won't be fired? Are you going to pay their bills for them because they were fired for being lazy?  Hopefully not.  Therefore, if you allow your teen to assume responsibility for their school work you are really helping them.  You are teaching them that their are consequences for their actions and to be responsible.
In reality if the can't advance to the next grade and they have to repeat 7th grade or if the don't have the grades for a four year college and they need to go to a junior college, it is not the end of the world. They will not be destroying their lives either. It is better for a teen to learn this lesson of responsibility for their work at 14 than when they are 35 and the consequences are much bigger.
Some parents may worry about what other parents will think of them as parents.  Don't worry about what other parents will think about you. Worry about your responsibility to your teen as their parents. Other parents who are good parents will understand and anyone who is judging your parenting skills on limited information is not that good of a parent so why do you care what they think.
So when your teens are asking you for help during this season of finals, ask yourself is the request legitimate or is your teen asking because they have been lazy that semester? If the answer is they have been trying real hard all year, then do what is appropriate to help them.  If the answer is, they have been lazy all year, tell them I am sorry but I already went to school and you need to take responsibility for the choices you made this year about school.