Assaulted; A Personal True Story

MY LIFE'S AN OPEN BOOK; The story of Bella's (i.e. me) Assault - Long Version
In saying my life's an open book, it's not an attempt to draw pity or self-glorify, but rather to emphasize that I have nothing to hide from anyone. I've learned along the way that people will love you and people will hate you regardless of what you do, regardless of the choices you make and/or your reasons for making them. Even through this ordeal I continue to awaken. Primarily, for me, is awakening to self-acceptance and self-love. So for those who care to read my story, thank you! For those that care less and choose to not read my story, thank you! Everything that happens or not happens, enlightens me, which in turn brings me peace. Peace to me is invaluable, it's my greatest treasure. A treasure more valuable than "money, property and prestige."

On July 8th I stopped at my local gas station to simply pump gas and get my Rockstar. I usually go out in a mode of defense, defiant and on guard. I usually put on my war paint and I'm ready to fight anything and anyone. I'm aware it's a consequence of my PTSD, from a long history of abuse and domestic violence. You see, I was indoctrinated by family religion and society, that I was a victim, that it was noble to be a martyr. I admit, I bought it. Consequently, I've attracted predatory people all my life. Changing this mindset is a work in progress. However, on this particular day, my guard was down. This irate person kept coming back into the establishment swearing and verbally assaulting the cashier. At a certain point, I said, rather politely, 'can you please wait till the cashier finishes my transaction.' Usually I likely would have said 'wait your f****** turn.,' not this time, ironically. In an instant, hands were around my throat, I was choked, shaken, then hurled against the wall. My final destination, the floor.
I ended up with a trauma compound fracture of my wrist and forearm. The personnel at the gas station refused to help me or even call 911, claiming it was none of their business (Really?? What about basic humanity?). I can't sue them because there are no laws against being assholes. After the mayhem and confusion, I underwent excruciating pain from the manual resetting of my bones, casting, re-casting, then surgery for insertion of a permanent metal plate, next step; physical therapy for a few months. In the meantime, police haven't called me back even after numerous calls, they won't give me a copy of police report because it's an "on-going investigation" (is it really?), and I'm unable to work the various jobs I would normally work because they all require the use of my now broken dominant hand. I'm unable to work, yet rent and bills, not to mention food, are still a necessity. So I decided to start my GoFundMe Campaign. I've received some donations for which I'm sincerely grateful. These have sustained me this month of August. I am humbled and deeply touched. Now comes September, my depression is paralyzing, sleepless nights, on-going pain and my PTSD is worst than ever. I'm hoping the Victim's Assistance Program will eventually help, but these things take time.
So, if you read this and feel so inclined, please share, that's all I'm asking for. I'm struggling to keep a roof over my head at least until I can work somewhere...anywhere, but even a dishwasher job requires the use of both my hands. Every day is a challenge. I try to remain hopeful but as I face the hurdles on my path, it's difficult to avoid feeling defeated.

I send you all, my love, my gratitude and my offer/promise to render you whatever assistance I can if you should ever find yourself in a similar situation.