Former patient looks forward to paying it forward

Victoria first noticed her depression when she was 12 years old. By the time she reached her 15th birthday, her feelings of anxiety turned darker.

“I was just having a lot of suicidal thoughts. I had been in therapy before, but was never able to open up with anybody,” said Victoria. “I always had a lot of anxiety surrounding opening up with my feelings. So, I definitely let everything pile up inside for a while, until I finally decided to open up to somebody, and I got sent to the hospital. It needed to be done.”

Instead of continuing her sophomore year in high school, Victoria spent the better part of a month at St. Vincent’s Behavioral Health Center in Westport. Her fear of opening up, of talking about anxiety and self-loathing kept her isolated. The lack of communication did nothing but extend her stay.

“I remember the first week, I just sat in the corner and wouldn’t speak to anybody. Nobody was able to talk to me and I wouldn’t respond to them. It took a while, but they were very patient with me,” said Victoria.

Mental health workers, however, understand that patient-centric care takes on a lot of different forms. If a patient is into music, maybe they'll get them a guitar. If they are into holistic exercise, perhaps they'll set up a small yoga class. When it came to Victoria, her passion was art.

“They had a really nice art therapy program. They had a couple of groups that would meet two or three times a week. That was the first time I had ever heard of art therapy,” said Victoria. “I had heard of psychologists and social workers, but art therapy was something I had never thought of. I just thought it was so cool. It definitely is such an effective thing for a lot of people. Just to be able to express themselves, and really gain a healing aspect of it at the same time.”

Over the course of the next two years, Victoria returned to St. Vincent’s six more times. Sometimes there was just a few weeks before she returned to the Westport campus. Her feelings of anxiety would continue, and so would the need to express herself through art. Eventually something clicked. Her art was more than just a tool for healing, it was a gateway toward recovery. Now at age 19, she is ready for a new adventure — college, and a degree in art therapy.

“College was one of my biggest motivators to get better and improve. It was a good way to say that I am done with this chapter of my life,” says Victoria. “I have always been unsure of what I wanted to do. I thought maybe I would be a teacher or something. I always wanted to work with people, to help people in some way shape or form. I considered going to school just for psychology, but, ultimately, art therapy was the perfect blend of everything I wanted to do.”

Depressed, anxious, suicidal — that’s how Victoria saw herself when was first admitted to St. Vincent’s. Four years later, she is not only working on her recovery, but looking to help those in need with their own. Victoria found her calling, and formed a special bond with the Westport campus team.

“I have been there a lot of times, and a lot of them were extended periods of time,” said Victoria. “They all know me so well. I honestly considered them family and can say I am so grateful to them.”

The gratitude swings both ways.

“Hearing of such a success story makes a job I already love that much more rewarding,” said Linda Scillia, BSN, charge nurse, Child/Adolescent Psychiatric Unit. “Having the opportunity to make a difference in children’s lives while they are going through a difficult time is what motivates me every day at work. Seeing her success, and knowing that I played a part in encouraging her to help others in a similar way as a future career, completely warms my heart!”