Mom Of Bullied Boy: Why My Son Is Different

A West Haven mother’s Facebook post in response to her son being bullied at school is gaining attention. MaryAnn Parisi challenged those who read the post “to show and teach your children (or the children in your lives),” her son’s story.

Parisi told Patch her 11-year-old son, Michael, was bullied in school on Jan. 11. She said he responded like any normal child: he was sad and tearful and questioned why he didn’t have any true friends.

“Maybe knowing his background is the difference. Even the best children have moments of insecurity and weakness. Teaching and showing them why he (or anybody else) is different might be the more positive way. Sometimes knowing is learning and growing. Sometimes we all need a reminder, because we all can have our moments,” Parisi wrote in the post.

She goes on to explain that Michael was born at 26 weeks, just over three months premature. While she is not his biological mother, she writes that she is his mother in every other way. Parisi wrote that Michael spent the first three months after he was born fighting for his life.

“Shunts, blood transfusions, etc. His mother left him three months later. He has survived failure to thrive and numerous other health issues to become the strong, healthy boy he is. He didn’t learn to talk till he was three-years-old. Walking was very delayed,” Parisi wrote.

“You called him brace face today, before you were picking on him because of his eating habits. Did you know he physically can not control the food staying in his mouth. Or how very bad his hand/eye coordination is. Those braces are just one of the many steps he will endure, to help align his lower jaw that never fully developed. So he doesn’t spill his food or chew weirdly anymore. So you won’t pick on him. Kicking his chair, calling him stupid, ugly, brace face, bucky beaver. Telling him to sit down and shut up is not the way. You don’t have to like him, but you do have to respect him,” the post says.

Parisi said the response to the post has been great with a lot of love and outpouring of positive thoughts for her son.

She said it’s tough to answer whether there has been a change of behavior towards Michael since the post.

“This is too new still. He received some apologies today and that definitely helps, my hopes are this helps promote his social bonds with classmates and not make it worse. He has a pretty good crowd of awesome kids around him for the most part. I hope it is a learning experience for all, including adults,” Parisi wrote in a message to Patch.

In her post, Parisi said her son forgives and forgets and there isn’t one person he doesn’t like or love, including those who tormented him.

Below is the full text of Parisi’s post:

This might be long winded. I apologize for that. We all have children in our lives in some way or another, I challenge you to show and teach your children (or the children in your lives) my son’s story. Maybe knowing his background is the difference. Even the best children have moments of insecurity and weakness. Teaching and showing them why he (or anybody else) is different might be the more positive way. Sometimes knowing is learning and growing. Sometimes we all need a reminder, because we all can have our moments.

Michael was born at 26 weeks. Just over 3 months premature. I am not his bio mom. But in every other way, I am his mother. He spent the first 3 months of his life fighting to survive. Shunts, blood transfusions, etc. His mother left him 3 months later. He has survived failure to thrive and numerous other health issues to become the strong, healthy boy he is. He didn’t learn to talk till he was 3 years old. Walking was very delayed. He didn’t have teeth till after his first birthday. He was so very behind. But he loved. Oh how he loved. To this day, his smile is the best thing ever. There is not one person he doesn’t like/love, including those who tormented him today. He forgives and honestly, he forgets too. There is not one judgemental bone in his body. I strive to be more like him daily but fall very short. You called him brace face today, before you were picking on him because of his eating habits. Did you know he physically can not control the food staying in his mouth. Or how very bad his hand/eye coordination is. Those braces are just one of the many steps he will endure, to help align his lower jaw that never fully developed. So he doesn’t spill his food or chew weirdly anymore. So you won’t pick on him.

Kicking his chair, calling him stupid, ugly, brace face, bucky beaver. Telling him to sit down and shut up is not the way. You don’t have to like him, but you do have to respect him. He’s a fighter, that’s a very small portion of his story. Share, teach, grow. Most importantly respect those around, you never know what they have been through.

Images courtesy MaryAnn Parisi, used with permission