Faces of Stamford: Kathy Jager, Friendly Face & Confidant

When I entered the Bedford Street Diner Wednesday, she was seated at a table with two other customers. In her hands, she held the greeting card they had presented her with to say goodbye. Slightly tearful, they hugged and departed and she came to sit down at a table with me. She sat there for about 30 seconds before another customer came and pulled her away.

Kathy Jager worked at the Stamford diner for 7-and-a-half years, but in that time, she'd become a beloved fixture. It was long enough to garner the attention of almost every customer who walks into the building, each one acutely aware of her final day in the city.

"This diner was brand new when I started working here," Kathy said. "It was a work-in-progress for both of us. Thankfully, I was up for the challenge."

I understood the sentiment of the visitors that streamed in to see her. Personally, Kathy had been the first friendly face I'd met in Stamford. While here looking for an apartment once I learned I'd be moving to Connecticut to work with Patch, I stopped in at the diner just across from the Stamford Police station and ordered some coffee, black, with breakfast.

On my next visit, once I'd moved in and gotten settled weeks later, I visited the diner again one morning. Her trademark red baseball cap donned, she came up and asked me if I'd like black coffee again. Her recognition astounded me. The conversations that followed were a welcome respite from the initial loneliness that comes with uprooting everything for a move to a new city. Kathy understood my plight, having suffered through the same move herself.

Kathy's gift, her likability, the connection that she develops so quickly with the people who move through the diner, is rooted in her ability to remember them, make them feel comfortable and, often, identify and empathize. She develops a familiarity quickly, one that is typically reserved for a friend you've known for years. She has a warm smile and a welcoming attitude and it shows in the respect others pay her on her final day here.

"I just like interacting with people," she said. "I grew into my own skin. I just like to do for others what I would like done for me. It's not something you think about, you just do it. People are always just looking for a kind connection."

Kathy arrived in Stamford by way of Westchester County, where she grew up. Vermont, where most of her family lives now, just happens to be where everyone settled. Kathy came to Stamford knowing no one after moving from a town where she knew everyone. And yet she flourished, as proven by the visitors who made special trips just to sat goodbye.

Her leaving a loss for the city and it's community here, certainly, but for her it's an exciting new chapter. She'll be moving to Brattleboro and reunite with family. Her son, Christopher, and daughter, Kayla, both in their mid-to-late-20s, each leave in the area, as do Kathy's parents. It's a move she's embracing wholeheartedly."

"I needed to start over. I needed a change. In Stamford, I grew into my own skin, became my own person. I feel complete now. It's 'done.'" she said. "I'm crying saying goodbye to all these friends, but I'm excited. I'm starting a new chapter. And my whole family is grinning from ear-to-ear."

But Kathy said it was hard for her to gauge the impact she'd had on the local Stamford community. The constant flow of gift-bearing, teary-eyed well-wishers was almost overwhelming.

"I didn't realize it until I began to say my goodbyes," Kathy said. "I didn't expect what everyone has come and said to me. It makes me feel good. I'm proud of my hard work."

Now, Kathy will have time to unpack, do some reading or play too much Candy Crush. But she won't linger for long. She refuses to let boredom set in.

"I'll take two weeks to unpack and everything," she said. "I could take two months or three months, but after two weeks, I know I'm going to want to get my feet wet again.  But I want to be with my family. We haven't been together, all of us, in such a long time."

DJ McAneny, Stamford Patch, and the whole of the community, wishes you the best.