Obituary: James P. O'Neill, 100, of Mystic

MYSTIC, CT - (From Mystic Funeral Home) James Patrick O’Neill (“Buddy”) passed away peacefully at home in his sleep on June 22, 2020, 100+ years of age, in Mystic, Connecticut. He was surrounded by love, his devoted wife Anne (Raffo), of nearly 70 years, and two of his four children.

Born in New York’s Greenwich Village on February 1, 1920, to Irish immigrants Patrick and Ann (McDonagh) O’Neill, he was the youngest of two surviving children. He and his big brother Hugh Steven O’Neill (who pre-deceased Jim in 1975) were children of both the Great Depression and Prohibition.

Growing up on Morton Street in New York’s Greenwich Village, he recalled seeing well-publicized “raids” on the local speakeasys, with a few casks broken onto the sidewalks for show, followed by an invitation for all (police included) back inside for a few drinks.

The Depression sent him to work early, as delivery boy to Herman Muth’s butcher shop, helping his Dad’s ice delivery business to put food on the table. He attended grammar school at St. Joseph’s Academy and high school at La Salle Academy (then at Second Avenue and 2nd Street). LaSalle in particular left him with many fond memories of the Sisters and the Christian Brother that tried to teach an unruly youth.

December 7, 1941, changed the lives of almost everyone, and a 20-year-old Buddy (as he had by then become known) was not excepted. Like thousands in the City he and his brother enlisted almost immediately, Buddy opting for the Army. He had hoped to join Patton’s Third Army in the tank corps, but senior officers recognized his special intelligence and keen observational skills, and instead shifted him over to the nascent Army Air Forces (then known as the Army Air Corps) where he trained as bombardier in B-24 Liberators.

He deployed first to Africa as part of the MTO (Mediterranean Theater of Operations) and then to Spinazzola, Italy, in the ETO (European Theater of Operations) where he flew 53 missions before being shot down by flak over Marseilles in August 1944. Taken prisoner, he was first sent to the infamous German POW camp Stalag Luft III in Sagan, Poland, site of the just-completed Great Escape.

As the Russians advanced in January 1945, the POWs were force-marched through bitter cold and snow to captivity in to Stalag VII-A at Moosburg, Germany. Before evacuation from Sagan, Buddy and his compatriots found a cache of Red Cross food packages that the Germans had withheld, and in incredible acts of selfless charity distributed them to the starving widows and orphans of war-ravaged Sagan. He and 130,000 other POWs were liberated from Moosburg in April 1945, by Allied forces that included General George Patton, for whom Buddy had first sought to serve.

An early and outspoken opponent against racial discrimination in all its forms, Buddy taught an object lesson on its bizarre consequences to some of his fellow POWs. Because of the War Department’s then-policy of segregation, there were few African-Americans assigned to forward combat roles, but the Tuskegee Airmen proved themselves some of the best fighter pilots around. These same fighter pilots protected B-24 Liberators during their bombing missions.
Of those shot down and captured, a few Tuskegee Airmen ended up Stalag Luft III.

Some POWs hesitated at housing them in their barracks because they were black. Never afraid to speak his mind on moral issues, Buddy insisted that they be housed with him and his squadron, pointing out the paradox of discrimination against the very men whose courage and heroism saved other airmen’s lives many times over. “Those Tuskegee Airmen were great”, Buddy would often recall, “they saved our lives”.

Returning from war, Buddy took advantage of the G.I. Bill to complete his college degree and continued his education by earning a Master’s degree in social work from NYU. He remained on active reserve with the Air Force out of Fort Hamilton, where he eventually rose to the rank of Lieutenant Colonel.

His many decorations for meritorious service include the Distinguished Flying Cross, the Purple Heart, the Air Medal (with 4 oak leaf clusters), the Distinguished Presidential Unit Citation (with gold frame), the Prisoner of War Medal, the American Campaign Medal, the European-African-Middle Eastern Campaign Medal (with 4 oak leaf clusters), the World War II Victory Medal and the Air Force Longevity Service Award Ribbon (with 4 oak leaf clusters for 20 plus years service).

During this time, Buddy rekindled his love of theatre and the performing arts, acting and practicing lines with the likes of Kirk Douglas at Greenwich House (which is still active today), and which offered programs in the arts, education and social services. It was through Greenwich House and a talented Potter named Victor Raffo that he met his beloved Anne.

Little did Victor Raffo suspect, in the summer of 1951, when he brought his daughter Anne with him to Greenwich House from Connecticut that she would sweep Buddy off his feet. They were married in a flash in November 1951, at St. Patrick’s Church in Mystic.

The newly married couple settled in Greenwich Village where they led a bohemian lifestyle with dear friends such as Joan (Mongelli) and Rolando Valdes-Blain, in a series of ever-cuter apartments, finally settling at 72 Barrow where they started their family: Michael in 1955, Marianne in 1957, Brian in 1959 and Kathleen in 1962.

A life-long Catholic who practiced his faith every day, Buddy chose a career path that helped many thousands of the less fortunate. He initially worked in NYC Family Court until 1956, at which point he started work at Catholic Guardian Services (then known as Catholic Guardian Society, CGS). He eventually was appointed by Terrence Cardinal Cooke as the first non-clergy layman ever to hold the position of executive director of CGS.

Over 25 years as executive director, Buddy opened numerous group homes in New York and Staten Island catering to the needs of the profoundly mentally and physically handicapped children and young adults of the city. He established Family Daycare services, Shelter programs for homeless women and mothers with children, and created a specialized foster care program to care for children with HIV and AIDS. Under his stewardship, CGS served the needs of over 11,000 troubled children and their families, had overseen the adoption of 519 children and had provided almost 7 million care days of service.

Active also in politics, Buddy was a long-time member and eventual president of Greenwich Village’s Tamawa Club where he fought enduring vestiges of the political patronage system of Tammany Hall. Among his early successes was the campaign that elected William F. Passannante to the New York State Assembly in 1955. Buddy later related that he ran the campaign on a ticket of “dog lover”, as there were a lot of little-old-lady dog lovers in the Village at the time.

With an abiding love of sports, Buddy was a fan of just about all of them: golf, baseball, basketball, football, track and field, horse racing and boxing (perhaps his favorite). Far from merely an arm-chair observer, however, he was dedicated to a regimen of near-daily workouts well into his 90s, including weight training, calisthenics and shadow-boxing -- all of which helped him see his 100th birthday.

A member of the Mystery Writers of America, Buddy was the author of many short stories published in the likes of Ellery Queen magazine, as well as a novel with the deliberately ambiguous title of “The Mystic Policeman”.

Buddy and Anne retired from their cherished Greenwich Village neighborhood in 1997 to live in Anne’s childhood home in Mystic. There, Buddy reclaimed the land from years of overgrowth, continued in his writing, and (of course) learned Italian on his own so that he could understand his beloved operas in their native tongue.

Jim is survived by his wife of nearly 70 years, Anne Marie (Raffo), and his four children Michael Kevin (Susan DeVries), Marianne Theresa (Dennis Drumm), Brian Christopher (Kimberley Annis), and Kathleen (Casey O’Neil). In addition, there are 12 grandchildren: Colleen, Kelly, Ryan, Christopher, Julie, Lisa, Mary, Timothy, Kevin C., Kirsten, Brendan, and Kevin P, and 5 great-grandchildren with two more on the way.

We all marvel at longevity but longevity alone does not make you marvelous. Jim O’Neill’s 100+ years was a marvel to behold and we are left awestruck by its significance.

Services will be held at an indeterminate time in the future when coronavirus concerns abate. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made in his name to Catholic Guardian Services in NYC, https://www.catholicguardian.org/givenow.