NASA Is Hiring: Protect The Planet From Aliens On A Six-Figure Salary

WASHINGTON, DC — Local job opportunities don't get much more Bruce Willis than this. According to a new listing on NASA's job board, the federal space agency is in need of a cunning new "Planetary Protection Officer" who can help fight "organic-constituent and biological contamination in human and robotic space exploration" from an office chair at the agency's DC headquarters.

And in exchange for saving the universe, NASA says it's willing to pay the right candidate up to $187,000 per year for three years — "with the possibility of extending" for two more years after that.

Read the fine print, though, and you'll learn this hero's mission is actually just as much about saving aliens from us as it is about saving us from aliens.

The job description reads:

"NASA maintains policies for planetary protection applicable to all space flight missions that may intentionally or unintentionally carry Earth organisms and organic constituents to the planets or other solar system bodies, and any mission employing spacecraft, which are intended to return to Earth and its biosphere with samples from extraterrestrial targets of exploration. This policy is based on federal requirements and international treaties and agreements."

Translation: You'll be in charge of making sure America's astronauts and spaceships and space monkeys and stuff don't leave behind any nasty earthly germs, food, dandruff, etc. on any other planets or in any other solar systems they may visit.

Kind of like a Burning Man "leave no trace" vibe, only with the added pressure of knowing you could be held responsible for breaking international law or single-handedly throwing off the entire symbiosis of the universe if you mess up and leave behind a crumpled Budweiser or something.

Watch: You Could Be NASA's New Planetary Protection Officer

Anyway! Here are some more specs on the gig, if you're still on board:

• The deadline to apply is Aug. 14.
• The pay range is $124,406 to $187,000 per year, depending on experience.
• The job is full-time and lasts three years, with an optional two-year extension.
• You will be based at NASA Headquarters in Washington, D.C.
• NASA will not pay any of your relocation expenses.
• Only U.S. citizens and U.S. nationals are eligible to apply.
• You will be subjected to drug testing.
• You must complete a financial disclosure statement.
• "Frequent travel" may be required.

Of course, you also need to have a pretty solid background in the field — including a bachelor's degree in "physical science, engineering or mathematics," and preferably an advanced degree as well. Read more here about the skills NASA officials are looking for in their ideal new Planetary Protection Officer.

And finally, here's a list of your expected duties on the job.

• "Leads planning and coordination of activities related to NASA mission planetary protection needs."

• "Leads independent evaluation of, and provides advice regarding, compliance by robotic and human spaceflight missions with NASA planetary protection policies, statutory requirements and international obligations."

• "Advises the Chief, SMA and other officials regarding the merit and implications of programmatic decisions involving risks to planetary protection objectives."

• "In coordination with relevant offices, leads interactions with COSPAR, National Academies, and advisory committees on planetary protection matters."

• "Recommends and leads the preparation of new or revised NASA standards and directives in accordance with established processes and guidelines."

Interested? Submit your application by Aug. 14. Not so into the whole planet-protecting thing? NASA also has 17 other jobs open at the moment. Reach for the stars, yo.

Photo by Tim Peake (ESA/NASA) via Getty Images