Families Fear Isolation Taking Toll On Nursing Home Residents

PALM HARBOR, FL — Before the coronavirus pandemic, Debbie Lee of Dunedin couldn't imagine a week passing without visiting her mother at the St. Mark Village assisted living facility in Palm Harbor.

Eighty-seven-year-old Angeline Emerito was always healthy and independent. She raised six children and supported herself following the death of husband from cancer in 1989 at the age of 56. Emerito worked full time at Nielsen Media Research in Oldsmar until she was 82.

Just as she retired and finally had time to enjoy her five grandchildren, Emerito was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. She's been living at St. Mark Village for the past two years. Her close-knit family visited her at least three times a week — until the coronavirus pandemic.

In March, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis issued an emergency order prohibiting visitors at nursing homes in the hopes of preventing the spread of the coronavirus to the vulnerable elderly population.

"They think they’re doing the right thing, but the coronavirus is worse than it was before, and it's taking a toll on both the elderly residents and their families," Lee said. "It's really depressing."

While family members can see and talk to their elderly loved ones on the phone and via computer video screens, Lee said it's not the same as being able to hug her mom, brush her hair and hold her hand.

The closest she's been able to get to her mom in six months was when St. Mark Village hosted a drive-by visit, allowing family members to drive by the facility in their cars as the residents sat in wheelchairs on the front lawn.

"It was hard to see her," Lee said. "She had a hat on and was sitting in a wheelchair, but it was a nice gesture."

Nevertheless, Lee said she doesn't need to see her mother up close to know the isolation has had an impact on her.

Prior to the restrictions, residents ate meals together, played bingo and cards, and were treated to entertainment and movie nights.

"My mom has always been very social. Now she just sits in her room every day surrounded by four walls with the door shut," Lee said. "She eats alone, and the only people she sees are the nurses. She's depressed and lonely, and I can tell it's affecting her health. I can see she's going downhill."

Lee fears the drawn-out isolation, not the coronavirus, will eventually take her mother's life.

"I would do whatever it takes to be able to see my mother face to face again — take a coronavirus test, have my temperature taken, wear a mask and gloves, suit up, agree to limit my time," Lee said. "I'm afraid she's going to die before I have a chance to see her and touch her."

Lee keeps in contact with the relatives of other residents of St. Mark Village and said they're equally frustrated.

"It’s not only me. There’s a lot of people in the same situation," Lee said. "It seems to me some concessions can be made so we can see our loved ones, even briefly. Where there's a will, there's a way."

Lee and the other families with loved ones at St. Mark Village may soon get their wish.

On Wednesday, a task force on reopening long-term care facilities submitted its list of proposals to the governor's office — including plans for limited visitation.

Earlier this month, at a roundtable discussion, DeSantis said he'd be in favor of a plan that would allow restricted visits.

“In the middle of March, we took the step of suspending visitation into these facilities because we feared that the virus could be brought in and infect people,” DeSantis said. “Those measures have come at a cost. Throughout the last 4-1/2 months, they have not had the ability to have family members visit them. They’ve not had the type of human contact they need."

One task force member, Mary Daniel, made national news after she got a job as a dishwasher at her husband's assisted living facility so she could be near him.

“I sit here representing hundreds of thousands of caregivers," Daniel said. “We are desperate, and we are lonely, and we are helpless.”

She said family members want to protect their vulnerable loved ones as much as anybody and are more than willing to adhere to whatever rules the state puts into place to allow visitations.

"We will be the most stringent rule followers that you have ever seen because we understand what the risk is,” Daniel said.

The task force's recommendations include requiring visitors to wear masks and practice social distancing. Additionally, the facility must have had no new cases of the coronavirus during the previous 14 days.

DeSantis has yet to approve the recommendations but said he's confident there's a way to reunite families at long-term care facilities.

"There's a light at the end of the tunnel," he said.