When Did Travel Become So Informal?

~ In the Land of the Blind, the Man with One Eye Refuses to Treat his Dashboard like a Beach Chair. ~

There was a time, not so long ago, when airline passengers used to don their suits and fancy hats, slather on their favorite classy scent and insert a matching pocket square into the front pocket of their jacket before boarding an airplane. Passengers would wear their “Sunday Best” when they flew. It was an occasion, like attending a theatre performance or going to a funeral. And, bear in mind that I’m referring to an era when “Sunday Best” didn’t mean jean shorts, flip-flops and a sleeveless Black Sabbath tee-shirt. Nowadays, we should consider ourselves lucky that the guy sitting next to us isn’t wearing a Speedo and a foil helmet. There’s no denying the fact that travel, of all kinds, has morphed from an occasion to a regular occurrence.

There is some logic to this change. We fly more now. We’re a less formal society on the whole now. People practically live in their cars--and I don’t mean nearly homeless people who really do live in their cars. I’m talking about three hour morning commutes. I’m talking about the delivery business. I’m talking about those ridiculous, but eye-catching, mobile advertisements for Red Bull, or the newest brand of vodka (a natural fit for driving). I will make a nostalgic exception for the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile. How could anyone come out against the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile?). Airline travel is so routine that the idea of a non-astronaut passenger space shuttle didn’t sound like science fiction when we first heard about it. It sounded like a cool way to spend a holiday. All you need is an adventurous spirit, a love of danger and a spare three million dollars.

Car trips are less formal, too. Every time I get on the road I see people, girls especially, in the passenger seats of cars with their bare feet up on the dashboard. I’ve even seen drivers with one foot on the dash. I know that we’re supposed to drive with only one foot, but I just can’t picture my Driver’s Ed instructor allowing me to recline in the driving simulator. Is making an automobile more like your living room a natural extension of the idea of our spending so much more time in our cars? There are TVs in cars, sometimes multiple TVs. That’s a living room staple. People use their cars to store bicycles, mini-refrigerators, and garbage/recycling. That’s a garage thing. Are we slowly moving toward actually living in our cars full-time? I heard John Stossel, he of the libertarian mustache, predict that society is moving toward multiple, unconnected miniature floating countries on hydro-platforms. I barely heard him since I was, once again, like the rest of you, completely sensually captivated by the dead caterpillar stapled to his upper lip, but maybe he was right.

People are doing more in their cars than ever before, and that really weirds me out. Is this general travel relaxation yet another societal change brought about by the proliferation of technology? I have friends who have cars with GPS maps, individualized air conditioners for each seat, and so many multiple-angled car cameras that it feels like I’m riding in the Pentagon. Drivers also do more business while driving than ever before. People CAN do more activities while driving than ever before, but should they? I don’t have any statistics on it, but it doesn’t seem as if there are really that many more car wrecks as a result of it. I hate to imagine what happens to feet and legs when an airbag goes off as a passenger lounges! Has our evolutionary path come to a place when anyone could now be an old-timey telephone operator while juggling flaming chainsaws and shopping on amazon.com, all at the same time? We are a nation of multi-taskers. We may be freaking awful at most of those tasks, but we’re still doing a lot of them at once.

There is evidence that we may be moving toward a society where home really IS where the heart is. The heart is easier to move than the bathtub or the septic tank (though mobile septic tanks do exist). Drivers do more things in cars than ever before. I’ve glanced over at traffic lights and seen women putting on make-up. I’ve seen guys brushing their teeth. We’ve all seen mild sexual acts, child care (feeding and changing), and all forms of electronic communication. I even once saw a girl eating cereal while driving. Think about that one. Eating cereal isn’t like wolfing down an energy bar at a red light. It requires a bowl, milk, a spoon, and the ability to drive steadily enough that it makes sense to eat a bowl of cereal in your car. I should’ve stalked that girl for a few days and figured out her motivation.

Come to think of it, a little more stalking would have helped this blog immensely. If anyone has any stalking advice, please, write in and share.

I’d also like to know what the strangest thing you’ve ever seen anyone do in a car is.

P.S. I once awoke from a back seat nap on a long road trip to find one of my best friends ever playing a Game Boy while driving. The man did go on to become a professional race car driver, so it’s safe to say that he is a damn good automotive multi-tasker, but it was still scary.