Father's Day Is Over, Now Can We Talk About the Decline in Black Marriage?

Good Tuesday Cascade Patchers!

As our daily readers now know, I wrote a column Sunday morning, Father's Day, that touched off a debate.

I believe the column topic deals with one of the most pressing issues in our community—the breakdown of the black family—and I believe we add insult to injury by skirting around the issue for fear that we might offend someone.

So, this morning, I want to offer up a few statistics and some qualitative information to support my belief that we need more fathers in the home, raising their children, and that many of Black America's tribulations are rooted in this sole issue.

I want to continue the conversation. In the end, I hope we can come together here in southwest Atlanta and across the country to find solutions to our need to strengthen the black family and understand the value of two-parent households in any community.

Please share your view and, I hope, your solutions regarding this:

• According to a 2006 story in the Washington Post, "Marriage is for White People," by Joy Jones, the marriage rate for African-Americans has been dropping since the 1960s, and today, we have the lowest marriage rate of any racial group in the United States. In 2001, the story reported, according to the U.S. Census, 43.3 percent of black men and 41.9 percent of black women in America had never been married, in contrast to 27.4 percent and 20.7 percent respectively for whites (I predict those figures are worse in 2011).

• African-American women are the least likely in our society to marry, according to the same article. In the period between 1970 and 2001, the overall marriage rate in the United States declined by 17 percent; but for blacks, it fell by 34 percent.

• For those who point to our history as an oppressed people, former slaves: I agree, without question, that slavery and legalized Jim Crow segregation have given us challenges not matched by other races who came here of their own free will, eager for American opportunity. That said, only we can pull ourselves up from those challenges, only we can be trusted to get that job done. As I said in a chat on Facebook Monday, "look at our Mexican brothers. They are poor and you know everyone looks down on them as being here illegally (whether they are or not) and yet they stand on the street at 5 a.m. EVERY day for work and take whatever they can back to their WIFE (not baby mama) and kids. Sorry, but I respect that. I don't respect constant anger, finger pointing and the unwillingness to look in the mirror, from any human being."

• In President Obama's address on Father's Day 2008 in Chicago he did not focus exclusively on black men, as some have suggested in the comments section of my column (please view the entire clip that I've reposted today). He talked then, and has talked over the years, about the importance of the father raising his children—not from afar with a child support check or a toy once a month—but on a day-to-day basis, as much as possible. To acknowledge this is not to say that this may not be an option for everyone and that some women and some men must raise a child or children alone. It simple means that fatherhood is important and that two-parent households, more often than not, lead to the best outcomes for the children. 

• Again, I quote President Obama: "The family is that most important foundation and we are called to recognized and honor what every father is to that foundation.... but if we are honest with ourselves we will admit that too many fathers are MIA (Missing in Action), too many fathers are AWOL (Absent Without Leave), missing from too many lives and too many homes. They've abandoned their responsibilities; they're acting like boys instead of men, and the foundations of our families have suffered because of it. You and I know this is true everywhere but nowhere it it more true than in the African-American community." (See Barack Obama's Speech on Father's Day on YouTube).

Looking forward to hearing from you!