Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Drag Queens

When I get home from work I am tired. Between the drama that is work, and the drama that is headline news, and the drama that is mothering two young teenagers, the last thing my brain can handle is anything of substance.

I like mind candy. Escapist fiction. Stupid comedies on television. A little mental sorbet, if you will.

My tastes vary, and are usually a few years behind the times. I find shows years after everyone else did. Recently, I watched a random season of RuPaul’s Drag Race. For those of you even more clueless than I am, RuPaul, drag queen extraordinaire, hosts a reality show which pits aspiring drag queens against each other in different competitions. At the end of the show, the bottom two performers must “Lip Sync for their Lives” to see who will be eliminated. It is high camp. I love it.

It makes for fun, stupid conversations with my family. For example, what would your drag name be? After some thought and discussion, I finally landed on Acid Reflex. (I ultimately rejected “Strep Throat,” which was in the running for a while.) I shall use lots of acid green, sparkly eyeshadow. Another close personal friend, who shall remain nameless, decided upon “Patricia Vagenstein,” which makes me giggle every time I think of it.

What’s your drag name?

Really, these Queens are rather talented. They are designers and seamstresses and dancers and choreographers and models and makeup artists.

What I like best about them is their attitudes. No doubt they get a world of hurt from family members and their communities and the world at large. People aren’t always very nice to other people who aren’t mainstream. But they get out there, and they strut it like they mean it and, well, good for them.

What I like about the judging is that it isn’t really a beauty pageant, though it might look like one. Attitude matters more than cheekbones. “Chunky yet funky” Latrice Royale (my personal favorite) is just as beautiful as thin and glamorous (and disturbingly Cher-like) Chad Michaels. You are rated on your creativity, your confidence, and your ability to walk wearing five inch stilettos and a three foot hairdo. Not your genetics. Not your willingness to starve yourself. It’s what you do with what you have, not what you have that matters.

Which is a fabulous attitude, is it not? Everything I needed to know I learned from drag queens. Don’t worry about whether or not your butt looks big in that dress. That’s not the right question. The question is: can you rock it?

I’m here to tell you I can. I can rock it, or my name isn’t Acid Reflex.

Tell me your drag name in the comments below!

If you enjoyed this and want Lori to write for you, click on her Expert Ghost Writer page. To read more like this, visit Lori at her website, www.loriduffwrites.com , on Twitter, or on Facebook. For the Best of Lori, read her books, “Mismatched Shoes and Upside Down Pizza” and “The Armadillo, the Pickaxe, and the Laundry Basket.”