Buffalo Grove Ranked Among the Drunkest Towns in Illinois

Written by Dennis Robaugh

Every Sunday during the Chicago Bears season, every town is the drunkest town in Illinois. Same for baseball season, whether you’re a Sox fan or Cubs fan. This year, moreso for Sox fans. And basketball fans everywhere have been known to get numb during Derrick Rose injury season, er, Chicago Bulls season, that is.

But can you determine the drunkest town in Illinois using hard data? Not hard liquor, but real numbers and stuff.

The curious folks at RoadSnacks.net — who caution their analyses are “based on facts and meant as info-tainment ... so don’t freak out” — crunched a few numbers and arrived at the 100 Drunkest Towns in Illinois. The stats include:

• number of bars, wineries, pubs and liquor stores per capita
• number of drunk-related tweets in a week
• the divorce rate

Of course, a week’s worth of drunken tweets mean a handful of snockered twentysomething ladies out on the town drinking Rumple Minze Peppermint Schnappsand tweeting selfies can really skew the rankings.

And why include the divorce rate? Because misery must drown its sorrow. Or drinking begets divorce. Something like that. Either way, it’s factored in.

So, the RoadSnacks Drunkest 5 include three suburbs, a downstate town and a small town outside Rockford, itself a perennial contender for the “armpit of Illinois” award. Which could contribute to anyone in its orbit needing to drink often. Buffalo Grove was ranked No. 89 on the list. Here is a look at the top five “drunkest” towns.

• Loves Park: “We did see that last year was the highest for drunk driving arrests in Loves Park. While we didn’t see a ton of drunk tweets coming from Loves Park, we did see this: ‘A Loves Park woman is arrested for drunk driving just after 8 a.m. Wednesday near schools.’” And that’s why Loves Park wins the title.

• Alton: “What do you think you’re gonna get when you have the highest divorce rate in the state, and the 2nd most bars per capita in the state? A lot of heavy drinking, that’s what.”

• Libertyville: “Here’s what’s interesting about Libertyville – you are all able to hold things together. You have a very low divorce rate, despite having one of the highest number of bars and liquor stores in the state.”

• Geneva: “You know the saying, money solves all problems? Well the people in Geneva are rich. Like $100,000 a year rich. So, maybe Geneva residents are functional drinkers, or they’re the type that can hold their own.”

• Grayslake: “This gem came from Twitter: ‘After driving around Grayslake for 45 mins dropping everyone off, I’m finally home. And I think I’m still drunk.’”

100 Drunkest Towns in Illinois

1. Loves Park

2. Alton

3. Libertyville

4. Geneva

5. Grayslake

6. Blue Island

7. Chicago

8. Springfield

9. Lisle

10. Schaumburg

11. Kankakee

12. Villa Park

13. Belleville

14. East Peoria

15. Rock Island

16. Lombard

17. Crystal Lake

18. Bloomington

19. Quincy

20. Carbondale

21. Champaign

22. Niles

23. Des Plaines

24. Westmont

25. Rockford

26. Collinsville

27. Galesburg

27. Wheeling

29. Elk Grove Village

30. Peoria

31. Danville

32. Pekin

33. Freeport

34. Edwardsville

35. Crest Hill

36. Algonquin

37. Granite City

38. St. Charles

39. Evanston

40. Woodstock

41. Melrose Park

42. Moline

43. Glen Ellyn

44. Northbrook

45. Gurnee

46. Tinley Park

47. Arlington Heights

48. South Elgin

49. Glenview

50. Roselle

51. Batavia

52. Berwyn

53. Decatur

54. Plainfield

55. Oak Lawn

55. Lockport

57. Naperville

58. Oak Forest

59. Orland Park

60. Palatine

61. Harvey

62. Bloomingdale

63. Elmhurst

64. Machesney Park

64. Downers Grove

66. Mundelein

67. Elmwood Park

68. Dolton

69. West Chicago

70. Oak Park

71. Wilmette

72. Carol Stream

73. Skokie

74. Lansing

75. Joliet

76. New Lenox

77. Charleston

78. Elgin

79. Chicago Heights

80. Burbank

81. Highland Park

82. Calumet City

83. Vernon Hills

84. Addison

85. O’Fallon

86. Waukegan

86. Bolingbrook

88. Oswego

89. Buffalo Grove

90. Darien

91. Zion

92. Normal

93. Woodridge

94. Carpentersville

95. Mount Prospect

96. Rolling Meadows

97. Park Forest

98. Maywood

99. East Moline

100. Morton Grove