A Tale of Two Cities

After recent news events posted right here on Patch about bar brawls, public urination, mooning incidents, and the like in St. Charles, I’m certain many Genevans are secretly gloating over the troubles of our neighbors to the north. We want to believe that such things could never happen in Geneva. After all, we are the class of the Fox River Valley, sort of like the sophisticated cousin Cathy in the old Patty Duke Show. You know the, the one who “adored the minuet, the Ballet Russe, and Crepes Suzette”. St. Charles, on the other hand, is more like Patty, the cousin who “loves to rock and roll, a hot dog makes her lose control, what a wild duet”.  The part about the hot dog always threw me. But it was the Sixties. Need I say more?

Anyway, things have been interesting for the St. Charles police lately. The Geneva police would probably love the chance to break up a good, old-fashioned pub brawl, but they have to content themselves with being called in to settle disputes over mismarked sales items in fancy Third Street shops or attending paramedics when someone feels faint at an afternoon tea. Hardly the sort of hard-nosed police work they imagined in their academy days. But then we have a reputation to uphold in Geneva and so we try to keep out the riff-raff along with anything that might attract them to our town. We may even decide to make Swedish Days an invitation only event.

In Geneva, we try to foster the sort of atmosphere that will not offend the delicate sensibilities of our residents. St. Charles, on the other hand, seems to welcome the sort of mayhem that the Allstate commercials warn you about. For example, compare the following two events that Dorothy received notice of in an email from Fox Valley Values (formerly FV SuddenValues), both occurring this Saturday:

 

Fox River Harley-Davidson Riding Season Kick-Off Party!

Saturday, May 18: 9 am - 6 pm


The weather is getting nicer, so officially kick-off riding season with FoxRiver Harley-Davidson on Saturday, May 18.

The Season Kick-Off Party will feature a big open house party with food, beer, drinks and guns. A Rolling Thunder #1 Gun Raffle will be held during the party, so head over, support a great cause and maybe walk away with one of the 28 guns being raffled. Find more information.

Gardenology Day

Saturday, May 18: 10 am - 4 pm - Free

Third & State streets in Downtown Geneva

Gardenology advisors and vendors will bring their best ideas and garden-related products to jumpstart your gardening season. Experts in every horticulture field including farming, landscape design, weavers, local nurseries and more will be on hand to answer your questions. Topics include herbs, flowers, vegetables, heirloom plants and perennials. Learn about attracting birds & butterflies, wildlife control, composting, organic fertilizers and more. Find more information.

You may be asking yourself why doesn’t Geneva ever have cool events like St. Charles. After all, what could go wrong with an event featuring booze, guns, and motorcycles? Perish the thought. Would you want Geneva overrun with revelers and hooligans? I think not.

Do we care if St. Charles thinks of us as prissy “wine and cheese” types who never have any fun? Certainly not. They’re just jealous anyway. Besides, it’s not that we don’t have fun or don’t want others to have fun, just not in Geneva. What would the neighbors think?

But perhaps it’s time to consider relaxing our standards a bit. Maybe we are a bit on the prissy side. Maybe we should try a new event like Guns and Gardenology where people could learn how to eliminate garden pests with a few well-aimed shotgun blasts instead of the more genteel wildlife control measures they usually teach at Gardenology. Hosting such an event would probably gain us some begrudging respect from St. Charles too, which would give us one more reason to gloat.