Protecting Kids From Failure Not Always The Right Choice: Abrell

Submitted by District 202 Superintendent Lane Abrell:

When life throws us a curve ball, many times human nature is to look outside ourselves for the cause or reason. Sometimes, we look for a “scapegoat” on which to pin our unhappiness or troubles.

When we are younger, we see the world through a “the world revolves around me” lens. Then, when we have our own kids, we want to protect our children from disappointment.

Parents will often advocate for their children to protect from adversity or the sting of normal failure. Sometimes that’s the right thing to do. Other times, not so much.

Those parental instincts contributed to several parents speaking (as reported in the Joliet Herald-News) before the District 202 Board of Education on March 20, 2017 about their displeasure over the atmosphere surrounding the Plainfield South High School boys’ basketball program and, specifically, the head coach.

As both a parent (2 of my 3 teenagers are high school athletes) and the Superintendent of Schools, I appreciate their input, perspective and efforts to support their children. Each parent has received a letter from me assuring them that their concerns have been heard and given active consideration.

The letter also makes clear that the areas such as selection of the team, playing time (based on skill or work ethic or attitude), expectations of player comportment or conduct, etc. – are, traditionally, appropriately, and will continue to be in District 202 the prerogatives of any head coach and the coaching staff.

Certainly the coach is also responsible for establishing and maintaining a positive culture and climate in his or her athletic program. However, such a culture and climate also requires “buy-in” from the players and others involved.

Extracurricular activities teach young people valuable life lessons and skills including but not limited to, competitiveness, discipline, a positive work ethic and attitude, leadership, the ability to listen and concentrate, to play and work within a set of rules, satisfaction and appreciation of being part of a team.

Still, everyone, including parents, must remember that participation in extracurricular activities is a privilege, not a right. Suggesting otherwise through our adult actions – even with good intentions – teaches our children the wrong lesson.

Our youth desperately need highly dedicated and motivated adults to guide and teach them. Extracurricular coaches and sponsors are more successful at guiding, motivating, and disciplining young people than any group that I am aware of (and they do it for peanuts).

While there is always room for improvement, we need help and support from many different sources – including our parents and families -- to make significant change for the better and continue to Prepare Learners for the Future (on and off the court) in District 202.