EDITOR'S NOTE: It Wasn't Me, Urbandale

You know that Twitter virus that's going around — the one where you get an email that says: "You should see what awful things people are saying about you on Twitter. … "

On Wednesday night I got an email that essentially said: "You should see what awful things YOU are saying about people on Patch."

Some Patch sites in Iowa were sprinkled with messages from "me," which a colleague noticed didn't think sounded like the real me, including one in which I essentially told Patch's Iowa Dad blogger Dave Schwartz that no one wanted to read his opinions about his kids and parenting, so he should keep them to himself.

Really, Dave. I didn't write that. I don't think it. Not even secretly. Write on, man!

The comments were posted between midnight and 1 a.m. Thursday, to which I counter: "Aha! Anyone who knows me knows I have trouble staying up past 9 p.m., let alone trying to be devious at 1 a.m."

To my readers: I can be many things — naive, confused, and sometimes bossy — but I am not deliberately mean to people.

To the commenters who used my name: Your comments have been removed and we've called in our super-savvy Patch geek squad to "solve the problem." You'd never guess our guys are a bunch of former Navy Seals and C.I.A. assassins because of their Clark-Kent-style disguise of horn-rimmed glasses.

So go ahead and get a good night's rest, if you can.