Best of Waukee Craigslist, Aug. 28 Edition

Congratulations! You made it past Monday and you're out of bed already today. Good job! (Everyone needs a little positive reinforcement, don't you think?)

Here's a little something to get you through the day - the best and brightest of Waukee/Des Moines Craigslist listings. Read these and then go out there and face that cruel world!

How about we start with a little haiku?

end of summer

what i did during
my summer vacation
wait, it's over?

One Night Stand

Nightstand - $10

This guy is selling one nightstand. Pick up and cash only. Sounds suspect to me.

Purple Haze

Jimi Hendrix Swag

Listen, I don't know what happened between you and Jimi, but it's not worth selling all his stuff. Seriously.

A-Mazing

A Maze for hamster, gerbil, rat, etc.

It's seriously impressive the types of things kids can make in shop class these days.

He's a Keeper, Ladies

madness - 37

Well hello there! Welcome to my ad on Craigslist because I'm too cheap to pay for eHarmony. I'd like to take a moment to tell you a little about me:

I'm male, of age, and I hate shoes.

So, there ya go. I'll expect the emails to start rolling in right about... now.

Alright. Let's try this again.

Let's see... I'm right handed, an Aries, I hate shoes - own a bazillion socks - but also hate looking at my bare feet, I look like theboy next door but I can drink a beer better than most females and swear like a sailor, I color coordinate everything, I enjoy sleeping in a cold bedroom, I love Christmas music, I prefer iced coffee over hot, I've debated naming my children after horror movie children, I'm allergic to most cats, I think cooked tomatoes and carrots are disgusting, I own a ridiculous amount of t-shirts, and I apparently love run on sentences. I'm insanely sarcastic, obsessed with Chapstick, still make mix CDs, wish I had been alive in the 70s, and almost cried when my Jurrasic Park VHS broke in my 13" tv/VCR combo in college.

If that isn't enough to snag the attractive nerd of my dreams, I don't know what to do.

I'll wait here roaming through my 300+ Netflix que whilst you type your first love letter to me. But let's be honest, I'll just pick something out of the horror section anyway. Or maybe some Mystery Science Theater 3000. Then it could be horrifyingly hilarious! Today I started watching Dark Shadows from the beginning to prepare for the Burton release that can't come soon enough. I also watched an episode of Twin Peaks, because I'm apparently stuck in the nerdiest of pasts. Wanna join me?