Stories I Tell on Dates, by Paul Shirley

If you're preparing for a first date with Paul Shirley, his books make for interesting crib notes. They also prove why the erstwhile Cyclone is so well-qualified to write a tell-all: Shirley fields a lot of questions (certain ones, on repeat), and he's awfully good at answering them.

In his latest volume, "Stories I Tell on Dates," the former collegiate and professional basketball player (NBA via Iowa State) exposes even more of the sizable brains and guts that brought us "Can I Keep My Jersey? 11 Teams, 5 Countries, and 4 Years in My Life as a Basketball Vagabond" in 2007, drawing readers into his emotional anguish while allowing us to laugh with him when crying has already been exercised as an option.

"I've thrown up in more countries ... than most people from my hometown will ever visit," Shirley cautions in "Stories I Tell on Dates" as he takes the reader (or audiobook listener; this author narrates his own tales) around the world with anecdotes of the life experiences to bring upon him the furrowing of some apparently very overworked brows. Like his description of hometown life on the Kansas plains, time spent reading or hearing Shirley's stories slip by "like a buckskin canoe in a gurgling creek."

The self-described scissors in a junk drawer opines on a range of emotions, from disappointment in the realization he would never attain a childhood goal of becoming an astronaut due to his "arrival at a height far too great for any spacesuit NASA has ever made," to sad reverie following basketball defeat through physical pain and painkillers alike: "Emotional deflation has a weird way of rendering useless most opiates." As he leads us through blush-inducing scenarios familiar to all who've navigated the toils and snares of growing up, Shirley spills every detail with poignant aplomb: "I want (someone to) ... get under some blankets with me, and tell me everything will be OK. This is my secret: I just want someone to tell me it will be OK."

I find this to be the perfect time to also recommend Shirley's first tome, for reasons beyond the clichéd "I laughed, I cried" (though I did chuckle to myself on multiple occasions and douse tears welling up at others). Today's drastically lighter-hearted (though still bass-deep) voice is a welcome contrast from that of his days of, shall we say, globe-trotting: A decade ago, Shirley claimed to be able to "out-sullen nearly anyone;" now he boasts a social media feed featuring colorful book signings, cartwheels, California smiles and beach-body abs (worth the price of admission, ladies. Just follow paulthenshirley on Insta and thank me later). This reader finds relief in the happy-sunset denouement of a nice Kansas farm (well, country) boy basking in adulthood rather than being subjected to it. I never wanted Paul's "Dates" to end.

If you're curious about a real-life date with the author (whose list of romantic interests include Division I basketball and volleyball players, a professional gymnast, at least one Playmate bunny, and the best-looking women in the arenas, restaurants, airports and other stops along his way), take a peek into his writing to help put together that crib sheet: A devourer of novels himself (such as Tolstoy's "War and Peace" over the course of a recent seven months), Shirley is working on drafts of several more books, including one aimed at young adults. I predict readers will be, to borrow a Shirley phrase, "cheering with the sort of fervor usually reserved for 21st century soccer matches and 17th century beheadings." In other words, everything will be more than OK for the ISU alum.

Paul Shirley will appear at the Clive Public Library on April 12.