Are you an addict?

We are all plagued by inner struggle; the desire to live a life of purpose and meaning versus fulfilling the self-interests and needs of our bodies.

The addict turns to substances to resolve this tension and struggle. However, escape only lasts until the effect wears off. Over time the substance can be lethal.

In truth, we all engage in this journey. For the ‘non addicts’, our behaviors aren’t around lethal substances but rather behaviors of self-protection or self-interest. These behaviors can revolve around indulgence in food, unhealthy sexual behaviors, anger, and stinginess. Conversely, the behaviors may appear on the outside as positive behaviors (e.g. generosity, intense study, exercise, etc.) when in truth, they are also an escape from self.

So what’s the solution to these tensions?

When we come to realize that we are stuck in this intense inner struggle and that we’ve tried repeatedly, using our own free will, to overcome it, we come to realize that we are powerless (over the substance or behavior) and that our lives have become unmanageable.

Letting go of our own bravado, and the sense that we can control everything, is the first step. The act of letting go is the beginning of the healing. Like a seed that rots in the earth before beginning to grow anew.

The next step is recognizing that our path forward can only come from a Higher Power. What that power is, at this point, is less relevant than the recognition that there is help and that it comes from something greater than us.

Finally, we engage in internal action. The action of willingness to turn our will and our lives over to this Higher Power/G-d as we understand Him.

This journey is our life’s journey. From the self-interest of a child to a mature adult, we go from thinking the world revolves around us to recognizing that we are here to serve something greater than ourselves.

In this week’s Torah portion, we are introduced to the journey of the first Jew, Abraham.
His first act was a recognition that all the idols and G-ds that everyone around him worshipped were of no sustaining value. It was his act of surrender, his admission of powerlessness.

In his next act, Abraham, who had not experienced revelation yet, came to a recognition that there was a Power greater than himself and all that was around him. It was so complete that he was willing to be alone in the world in his faith, challenging the notion of worship of multiple G-ds.

In his next act, Abraham made a decision to turn his will and life over to the power of G-d as he understood Him (still before revelation). The result of these steps was so complete that he made a choice to risk his very life to break away from the false worship around him which resulted in him being thrown into the fires of Ur Kasdim where a miracle occurred and his life was saved.

It was after this complete letting go that G-d appeared to him.

Hashem says to Avraham, (my paraphrasing) you think you have arrived? You think this act of surrender means you are out of the woods? Not so, my friend. This is a lifelong journey. Your act of sacrifice was based on your own conclusions of the nonsense of the world around you. Are you really ready to connect with G-d? Are you ready to find the G-d in yourself? Are you ready to “Lech Lecha” – to go to yourself, to your deepest self, the G-d part of yourself?

If so, then “go forth from your land, your birthplace and the house of your father”. Leave your notions, world views and attitudes formed by your culture, your genetics and your upbringing. Surrender yourself to the Will of G-d. “Go the Land that I will show you”.

Just as Avraham did not, and could not, know just how good the leap of faith would be on the other side, upon leaving his land, so too the addict cannot imagine the life that is possible in sobriety.
Let us go in the path of the person in recovery, and take additional steps on this road, on this G-d given life-long journey.

Have a Good Shabbos!

Rabbi Kushi Schusterman