Don't Assume! They actually love you more!

Speak to Aaron and say to him: "When you light the lamps, the seven lamps shall cast their light toward the face of the menorah." Number Ch.8 v.2

Why is the portion dealing with the menorah juxtaposed to the portion dealing with the chieftains? For when Aaron saw the dedication of the chieftains, he felt distressed over not joining them in this dedication - neither he nor his tribe. So, G-d said to him, “By your life, yours is greater than theirs, for you will light and prepare the lamps.” Rashi

The midrash offers a parable: To what is the matter comparable? To a king who made a banquet and each day invited various artisans. He had a certain friend who loved him exceedingly, but he did not invite him along with them. The friend developed depressing thoughts: Perhaps the king harbors something against me in his heart. Maybe, it is for this reason that the king has not invited me to any of the feasts. When the days of the feast has passed the king called the friend and said to him: For all the people of the province I made that feast, but for you only I am making one single feast for yourself. Why? Because you are my friend.

Aaron the high priest was a loving kind individual. He made peace between so many people. In Jewish tradition, most of the Jewish leaders were infallible. However, Aaron was distressed; why was I excluded from the dedication?

In life, we at times make assumptions of reasons why we were excluded from some event, party, get together, etc. We get distressed that we weren't invited, that we were blocked on FB or some other issue.

But often the truth is that the person who didn't invite you is because they want to have a private meeting with you. Their relationship is one where FB or some other channel isn't real enough for them.

My offer to meet people for a coffee or beer occasionally gets rejected. “Rabbi, I don't want to meet.” Is it personal? I can assume that the reason is because they do not like me, or they have an erroneous preconception about me. But perhaps it is because they do like me, yet they prefer a different type of friendship.

Which assumptions do you make about people that perhaps you are misunderstanding?

Aaron made some assumptions about G-d, and G-d, who is all knowing, knew what he was thinking and debunked the myth. Your friend might need to be told that you feel slighted so they can make it right.

Have a good Shabbos!

Rabbi Kushi Schusterman