Patch Picks: Valentine's Ideas for the Non-Sappy

The "romantic dinner" only suits so many people. If you're in a new relationship, if you're in a cash-strapped relationship, or if you've been in a relationship for 10,000 years and you don't ever want to see another "romantic" dinner again, you're largely left without guidance. Here are some options for those who find the institution of the romantic dinner awkward, expensive or just exceptionally dull. Respectively. 

1. Learn to Trapeze

Trapeze School New York

Trapeze School New York has an outpost in D.C., so you and your better half have the option of learning flying trapeze, silks and ropes, trampoline and more. Class prices run around $50 per person. Note: unless you regularly bench press the weight of a Beluga whale, you will be too sore to do ANYTHING for at least the next 48 hours. Plan accordingly.

2. Eat Cheap

Half-Price bugers on Monday at Quarry House Tavern

OK, half-price burgers are about as romantic as the windowless basement in which they're served, but after a long day flying through the air (courtesy of option 1) you will need something to restore your strength. The vast beer and scotch list should help too.

3. 

Audition for "Don't Dress for Dinner"

You and your beau have long considered yourselves the next Brangelina; before you make those adoptions official, make sure you have the acting fame in place by auditioning for a part in the Prince George’s Little Theatre production of "Don't Dress For Dinner." Just be careful if you're seen canoodling at auditions — those tabloids are vicious.

4. Listen to Live Music

Sweater Set at D.C.'s Fridge

D.C. natives The Sweater Set use the ukulele and dueling soprano voices to create a sound sweeter than an entire bucket of those candy hearts, with better lyrics to boot. If you've never slow danced to a tiny guitar, your chance awaits.

5. Uh..Learn!

Nerd Nite at DC9

DC9 has had a rough go of it over the last few months, but they've dusted off their knees, fixed their window and are slowly bouncing back into action. Bring your pocket protector and prepare to learn about chemistry, the history of chess, and traction optimization for your roadracing motorcycle. No, this is not a euphemism.