Open Wide

I’m sorry Beth, I have to remove your implants, you have an infection and they have to be removed. But they’ve already been removed doc see, no breasts! Your teeth Beth, this time it’s your teeth.

Darn chemo strikes again! The gift that keeps on giving. Eleven years later, just making sure you remember me!

Seriously Beth, we’ve got to get these out and it will take 5-6 weeks before you will have a denture. So, I’ll have no teeth? I’ll look like a prizefighter, you know a non “booby prize” fighter?

And then, out they came and all I can say is thank God its mask wearing season. Who would have thought that Coronavirus would save my vanity?

To say I am starving would be an understatement. Plain and simple, I am not your dainty yogurt and applesauce type of gal. I could eat ice cream and mashed potatoes but, I figure 5-6 weeks of the no teeth diet should result in a more slender version of Beth, soup or broth won’t cut this hunger, and scrambled eggs require a bagel and I haven’t quite mastered the art of gumming.

Moving on to the tooth fairy, who was a no show to my party after removing my teeth, I thought at the very least I deserved a trip to Aruba, but what did I get instead? My very thoughtful husband went out and brought me home vanilla yogurt! He will get a “crown” for that, :)

In any event, wearing a denture will upgrade me to superstar status because only teeth and stars come out at night.

Stay tuned for updates, and as always, find the funny in the not so funny!

Beth Kaufman
bkdp01@gmail.com
301-233-0393

Image credit: www.caricatures-ireland.com.