“Living on Cuckoo Court”: Chapter I

April 6, 2021

It’s strange. Year after year, the Quail Valley Homeowners’ Association (QV HOA) cites a different “legacy” feature of my townhouse as a “property violation.” By “legacy” I mean it was here when I bought the house. One year it was the double gate on my back fence. Then it was the woven-basket pattern of the pickets. Next, the AC unit was on the wrong side of the house! And then my plastic shutters needed painting. There is always about three weeks of arguing, then they seem to give up. Back when I was working in a medical office, this was exhausting, as you have to call the HOA during working hours. Now that I’m retired, it is just very annoying. –Norma, Sandpiper Lane * *** *

Around Christmas, we received a Certified Letter with a $7.00 stamp on it. Inside was a property violation from the Quail Valley HOA that the one planter in our front yard had no plant in it. It’s December. There are no flowers, in pots or out of pots. The property manager writes, “With regard to the flowerpots, I spoke with my co-Manager, and this was cited appropriately.” I went out in the woods by my mother’s house and dug up a bit of pachysandra, brought it home, and stuck it in the pot. –Katie, Oriole Place * *** *

My daughter the lawyer says I don’t need to fight this fight. “Just move,” she says. The HOA demands that I pay $3,919.39 because litter has blown onto my yard, and I have flowers growing in little buckets on my front porch in the spring and summer. A lot of people have cultural things and plants on their front porches. If you do not resolve an issue within 45 days, the HOA begins fining you $100 per month, per violation. I wrote to Senator Chris Van Hollen about this abuse. I intended to file an opposition to the lien against my house, but the county courts office was closed due to the pandemic. I did not go back, so not sure of the status. –Alysha, Chickadee Lane * **

Our new home is on the very edge of the neighborhood. When we moved in, the HOA said we had to pay the higher fee for “outside membership” pool passes because our house was not within the boundaries of Quail Valley. So we did. Suddenly, the HOA charged our credit card, without authorization, for the monthly assessment for single-family HOA houses, $84.25. The next month, they charged us again. Then the HOA cited us for stains on the concrete driveway, which were there before the house was ours. Then our mailbox needed painting. It’s puzzling. We see nothing wrong with it. After only three years, there’s a warning of lien on our house for $4,600, plus unknown HOA attorney fees. This hurts my credit rating. In fact, our house is within the map of Quail Valley. We are glad to know that, finally. The kids want to swim in the pool this summer, but it might not happen. –Nahuel, Quail Valley Boulevard * *** *

Our backyard fence is the wrong color, but it is the same red color as every other fence. We had to cancel the automatic withdrawal of the monthly HOA assessment, $88.25 because the HOA began making unauthorized charges to my credit card. The person on the phone said my English is not very good. I would like an apology. –Ali, Sandpiper Lane * *** *

We just moved into this neighborhood. The first letter is from the HOA: You owe $600 because your house number is somehow wrong. If this was really a problem, why wait until after closing to tell us this? –Pedro, Swan Drive. * *** *

What do they want from us? Our big concrete front stoop is “in violation.” It was there when we bought the house. A child broke a slat in the blinds … on the inside of the window. The HOA said, “You must have the house number displayed on your house.” I said, “Yes, it is on the portico above the front door.” The HOA said, “We don’t see any number.” I said, “It is there.” They said, “No it is not.” So I bought more numbers and stuck them on the siding of the house. Now our house has two sets of house numbers on it. Quail Valley HOA is demanding $17,505.50 from me. The judge said they must present the lawsuit written in Vietnamese, so that I, the defendant, can read it easily. I have not heard from the HOA since then.
I have a home also in Florida, and the HOA there is perfectly reason­able. I do not have time to play these games. –Nhat, Grosbeak Terrace * *** *

I’m retired, living on social security. The forest green handrails on my front steps exactly match the color of my front door, shutters, and garage door. The HOA said the rails are supposed to be black, and I must paint them black. I said, “They are in good repair. They match the color scheme of the house. They have been this way for 15 years!” I have not heard again, so I don’t know if they are going to fine me or not. I’m worried. –Juanita, Swan Drive * *** *

My neighbor told me he saw a man with a pickup truck take away my garbage can. Who steals garbage cans in broad daylight? Turns out that if you forget to put it away on Monday evening, the HOA might seize it on Tuesday. So now there’s a video of me at the barn, asking to get my garbage can back. I’m glad Mr. Lapham documented this strange event, because people don’t believe this is really happening, tinyurl.com/GetBackBarn. If you move to Rockville, the City of Rockville gives you a heavy-duty garbage can to use. Here in Quail Valley, the HOA makes your garbage can dis­app­ear. Remind me: why do people in townhomes pay $88.25 a month to this HOA? –Aaliya, Barn Swallow Terrace * *** *

It was dark at five AM when I left for work at the restaurant, and I forgot to put away my trash can. I discovered the HOA seized and then lost it. I complained loudly, and they bought me a new one. I’m white. –John, Phoebe Way * *** *

I think she’s stuck out-of-town and can’t get back. We’re in a covid pandemic. The letter from the HOA is sitting on her front stoop, in the wind and weather, for a month. No stamp on it. We’re worried for her. Probably illegal to read her mail, but we do. It’s an HOA lien against her house for $2,394.86. Her house is in good repair. The envelope has no stamp on it, but it says, “Return Service Requested” up in the corner. Please. How was that supposed to happen? Maybe a squirrel would pick it up and run it back to the HOA? Then the HOA could mail it to her, like they should have in the first place? Her mail is being forwarded by the USPS. Directly. To. Her. –Jane, Kingfisher Terrace * *** *

We gotta justify our front door. I’m afraid they’re gonna fine me. I call the HOA and they don’t pick up the phone or return messages. Five years ago, my wife and I filled out all the forms to get our new door approved. It has a nice piece of glass in the center. But the HOA lost a bunch of files. They approved our door, and then they lost the file. Now they want to create an “invent­ory” of “approved” doors. They make us all jump through hoops. –Miguel, Grouse Lane * *** *

Wasted time. “Paint is not allowed on a fence,” says the HOA. It’s not paint, it’s a stain, as it says on the label. “It is opaque, and it is a violation.” I try to strip it off with harsh chemicals, but the result is bad, so I replace the 20-foot line of fence with new wood. “You did not fill out an Architectural Change (AC) form.” I submit an AC form. “You must include a drawing.” I submit my technical rendering. “You must submit a survey plat.” Done. “You must circle the part of the fence you are replacing with new wood.” Done. “The AC Committee will consider your request.” Turns out the HOA now accepts an opaque “stain” on a wood fence … if it’s an approved color.
– Anastasio, Bobwhite Circle * *** *

Remove the paint on your steps. Remove the perennial plant bulbs. I paid $400 in 2018 for new front steps and a stoop. The HOA cited me in 2018, 2019, and 2020 for painting my steps and stoop. I responded verbally, in writing, and with photos of the Home Depot label describing the professionally recommended concrete sealer that prevents the salt used during the winter from weakening and eroding the concrete. There has never been any response to my many letters. My pruned gladioli bulbs were “weeds” that the HOA threatened to remove for a fee. I have been a resident of QV for almost 40 years. I volunteered with the HOA in the early years when we lived as a family commu­nity. In the last five or six years, I have been a target of the HOA’s harassment. Is the HOA now being used as a bully-pulpit instead of a community-builder? –Amoya, Hummingbird Terrace * *** *

Our survey plat was burned in the house fire a few years ago. The HOA said last year, “The wood in your fence is old,” so we replaced it. “You can’t do that without filling out an Architectural Change form,” so we did. “You must submit a plat with the AC form.” A plat costs at least $200. This is to replace 20 feet of straight-line fence, from one neighbor’s fence post to another neighbor’s fence post, in a long line of townhome fencing. –Miguel, Bobwhite Circle * *** *

The HOA harassment is ridiculous. We are all living on “Cuckoo Court.” We must fill out an AC form to put up a picnic umbrella in our own back yard? We hired a lawyer. They have not cited us for anything since. –Oafe, Pintail Lane * *** *

It took my Dad all summer to take down the metal shed. It was inside our fence, so nobody could see it anyway, but the HOA didn’t like it. I didn’t get to swim in the pool that whole summer except when I was a guest of some other family. It was a hot summer. They still do that to kids. –Darnel, Bluebird Terrace * *** *

These testimonials are summaries. Residents, who can provide fuller histories, fear retaliatory acts from their own HOA. Names, locations, and details are altered. Thirteen of these 17 people are of color. Many HOAs across the nation, but not all, exhibit similar dysfunctions (independentamericancommunities.com). The Quail Valley Friendly Team of families is trying to end these Quail Valley HOA abuses. –Steven Sellers Lapham, a 20-year resident, lives at 18737 Purple Martin Lane, Gaithersburg, MD 20879, USA. MuskratMusic@gmail.com.