The Gifts Not To Buy For Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day can be a day of love and danger. I have sympathy for the hapless guy who doesn't get the danger of the practical gift. She said she really needed an iron, he thinks scratching his head standing on the outside of her locked door.

You'll just have to trust me on this one - practical gifts like a coffee maker or blender can be the kiss of death.

A new tire for the car isn't such a hot ticket item either. Your Greenbelt editor speaks from personal experience here, ahem.

Now there are women who don't take offense at a practical gift. But beware many women are not of this persuasion. The trick is knowing the woman you are with.

Among the worst Valentine's Day gifts ever according to Modern Mom are:

• a gift card
• cash
• a scale, vacuum cleaner, anything practical
• fake flowers
• clothing
• sugar-free or reduced-calorie candy
• Facebook gift
• gym membership

Come on, does anyone really consider giving a woman reduced-calorie candy for a Valentine's Day gift? Call all your family and friends before doing this, because you are in need of a serious intervention.

For those guys who already bought the gift and are starting to think it looks pretty practical — fear not.

Are you are a hopeless geek who meant well, and thought she'd think it was the thought that counts? After all she told you that she really needed a Waterpik. And you didn't buy the cheap one either.

Well, she likely knew you were a bit clueless when she fell for you. So take heart; be yourself. But include a little something extra with that practical gift. Along with that blender include something irrefutably romantic. Give her a bouquet of flowers (not wilting) and a card with a handwritten note telling her she's still the sun, moon and stars of your planet.

Even with your romantic addition to the practical gift, though, do not get the Waterpik. If you have not enough of a poetic heart in you to get why, just trust me — bad idea.

Think about it, you're saying her breath could be fresher, and Valentine's Day is a time for saying you love who she is, not "I can make you better."

Now it wouldn't hurt for us gals to stay clear of lousy gifts as well. Modern Mom states the worst gifts for him include:

• stuffed animals
• flowers
• scented candles
• gag gifts
• grooming tools
• cheap liquor
• matching PJs
• self-help books

Seriously, stuffed animals? Are there really women over 16 who have done this? Hmmm, I might get that one a practical gift in exchange. A great way to end the relationship without the painful breakup speech, or the just anemically lame, "It's not you, it's me."

For those who have views they want to share about the gift — take our poll. You don't have to register to participate, just click your mouse. And let us know if you're a guy or gal.

If you have some great examples of awesome or dreadful gifts, let us know in the comments.