Kindness Takes Center Stage For HarCo Bullying Prevention Month

HARFORD COUNTY, MD — Over the past year Patch has been focusing on bullying and cyberbullying, a confounding crisis that can have deadly consequences. With each story, we've heard poignant reflections from Patch readers in Maryland and across the country who were bullied, including many who continue to struggle with the damage done by bullies to their self-esteem.

Common threads emerged in emails from our readers: Some said schools need to do more to foster an anti-bullying culture. Others chimed in that parents should talk more with kids about bullying and keep closer tabs on their social media habits. And in a loud chorus, they said we must create a world safe from bullying.

That's one of the purposes of National Bullying Prevention Month, observed annually during October to bring attention to the problem and involve people in Maryland and nationwide in a conversation on how to create a world safe from bullying.

Reporting Bullying In Harford County Public Schools

Harford County Public Schools has a policy preventing bullying, cyberbullying, harassment and intimidation.

There is a form to report bullying online to Harford County Public Schools.

Here is how the school system defines the offenses:

• Bullying — A pattern or behavior when a person repeatedly uses power in an intentional manner, including verbal, physical, or written conduct or intentional electronic communication against one or more students.
• Cyberbullying – The use of electronic communication to harm or harass others in a deliberate, repeated, and hostile manner.
• Harassment – Includes actual or perceived negative actions that offend, ridicule, or demean another individual with regard to race, national origin, marital status, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, religion, ancestry, physical attributes, socioeconomic status, familial status, physical or mental ability, or disability.
• Intimidation – subjecting an individual to intentional action that seriously threatens and induces a sense of fear and/or inferiority.

Kindness A Theme For Bullying Prevention

Harford County joined the Choose Civility Campaign, a program geared toward treating one another with kindness, in June. The program is being implemented across the country.

The Havre de Grace Library has launched a "Choose Civility" poster contest, in which students in grades kindergarten through 12 can illustrate what kindness means to them. It runs from Oct. 1 to Nov. 10.

We want to hear from you. Do you have a story to tell about bullying or cyberbullying, a suggestion about how to stem it or an event to publicize?

Comment at the end of the story, or email elizabeth.janney@patch.com and copy bullies@patch.com.

You can also post events about National Bullying Prevention Month on Patch.

1 In 5 Students Bullied: A Public Health Issue

Once viewed as a childhood "rite of passage" that toughened kids to handle the pressures of adulthood, bullying and its more insidious digital twin, cyberbullying, is seen by many experts as a major public health issue — on par with heart disease, cancer and diabetes — with devastating and often long-term effects like the loss of self-esteem, heightened anxiety and depression.

Statistics vary, but an aggregate of 80 different studies on bullying suggests one in five American students between 12 and 18 is bullied at some point during their middle or high school years. Traditional bullying — name calling, public humiliation, isolation, physical violence and that sort of thing — occurs most often, with 35 percent of kids reporting they've been targeted in one of those ways. The studies cited by the PACER Center, which established National Bullying Prevention Month, show that 15 percent of kids surveyed report being cyberbullied.

And though it occurs less often, cyberbullying — which has resulted in a disturbing string of suicides by adolescents and teenagers — is especially hard to stop. While experts say most cyberbullied kids don't kill themselves, the long-tailed internet makes a taunt live longer than one flung on the schoolyard. Kids can escape traditional bullying in the safety of their homes, but because social media is so intertwined with how kids communicate, they never really escape it.

READ: Bullied To Death: When Kids Kill With Words

And because cyberbullies have the stealth of anonymity, "empathy tends to fade to zero," NoBully.org founder Nicholas Carlisle told Patch.

He was knocked around 40 or so years ago as an awkward 12-year-old. The torment persisted through high school, but as tough as it was, his experience was markedly different from the torture kids endure today, he says — and it's not just that he was attacked in a physical as opposed to online space.

"Online, you can't see the whites of their eyes," Carlisle said. "If you can see someone, that's often a break upon people's aggression — not always, but it does seem to have some break upon crossing the line."

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The full consequences of bullying on the brain aren't fully understood, but kids who are targeted by bullies in childhood and adolescence are at increased risk for psychological problems that can stretch into adulthood, according to experts. In the moment, bullied kids may be unable to sleep or suffer a range of stomach issues and headaches. Later on, they're at risk for depression, anxiety, and alcohol and drug use.

October 24 Is Unity Day

Among the marquee National Bullying Prevention Month activities is Unity Day, observed on Wednesday, Oct. 24, when everyone is encouraged to wear and show orange to send a message that no child should ever experience bullying.

"Orange provides a powerful, visually compelling expression of solidarity," Paula Goldberg, the executive director of the PACER Center, said in a statement. "Whether it's hundreds of individuals at a school wearing orange, store owners offering orange products or a community changing a landmark to orange, the vibrant statement becomes a conversation starter, sending the supportive, universal message that bullying is never acceptable behavior."

Here's more about Unity Day:

The Bully Menace: What's Ahead

During October and beyond, several experts have agreed to answer readers' questions about bullying, ranging from how to keep their kids from becoming targets to what to do if their kids are the bullies. We'll also delve into some of the issues surrounding bullying.

Take a look back at some of the stories in our series:

• America's Shameful Truth About School Shooters And Bullying
• They All Failed Changed Child: Malden Bullying Detailed
• Bullies, Their Targets The Same In A Surprising Number Of Cases
• 'Everyday, I Wear Your Words,' Teen Tells Bullies In Video
• Teen's 'I Wear Your Words' Video Inspires Nashville Songwriters
• Bullying Of Mallory Grossman, 12, Spelled Out In Wrongful Death Lawsuit
• Poetry Teacher Helps Bullied Kids Open Their Tortured Minds
• Why These Kindergartners Start Each Day With A Simple Handshake

If you have a question or want to share your story, please email elizabeth.janney@patch.com or bullies@patch.com.

Image via Shutterstock.