Defining our Self-Worth; Consume Less, Live More.

Yesterday afternoon, a friend of mine sent me an article titled, "16 signs that you've made it in America." To reference just a few, the list included,
1. You own property valued between $1 million and $2 million.
2. You have $7,425 in your checking account.
3. You go on at least two annual trips abroad
4. You own a car worth at least $38,000.
5. You have a household income of at least $185,000.
6. You shop at Whole Foods.
7. You children are in private school.
8. You have a holiday home.
9. You are able to buy the latest gadget.

Realistic right?

My friend considered this list quite realistic for the average person and was deeply shamed that his life was drastically different than anything represented within the '16 signs' article. Another conversation I recently had, with someone very important to me, had similar thoughts about self-worth, validation, and success. I asked him, "What defines your self-worth? Do you feel worthy now?" He replied, "I don't feel worthy now because I haven't been successful enough to financially provide for my family, but I know I will be worthy someday because I will be able to give my family everything they need."

Wealth was the primary focus in his feelings about self-worth & although his intentions were pure, he was reluctant to recognize that his pursuit to provide financially for his family was socially constructed by our materialistic culture. I continued to ask him questions like "What about empathy, love, and affection? Do you think your family deserves that? Do you deserve that?" He replied, "Well of course, those things are just there, but not as important, I'm sure my family would much rather see me fulfill my role as a man."

We are convinced that worth is earned through societal milestones, reaching the next ladder of materialism. My favorite people are those who recognize intersectionality as factual, repel social binaries, dualistic thinking, & our damaging consumer culture, but also consider institutional disadvantages relevant to social mobility. When you can identify and cultivate self-worth without using another person's achievements as a benchmark, you have "made it." One principle that took me years to live by is the notion that we cannot become "more worthy." We start on this earth with the human truth and reality of being inherently worthy. The notion that if we value every human life equally, we are all simply worthy. When we achieve intellectual independence that repels our materialistic culture, the opportunity to live fully arises. The tenets that measure our self-worth should include what we give, not take, how we love, not hurt, and what we do to improve the human condition, not exploit it.

So many of life's gifts are missed when our sole existence focuses on conforming to a societal model that could never validate our self-worth.