Danvers Peeks Into the Secret Lives of Teens

DANVERS, MA – Jon Mattleman thinks adults have memory loss when it comes to teenagers. No matter how recently adults were in adolescence, he said, once you become an adult your teenage years become foggy.

"It’s very hard for the adult brain to really feel comfortable with the adolescent brain because the adolescent brain is so different," Mattleman said.

That might be why Mattleman's presentation, "The Secret Lives of Teens," is his most popular. DancersCARES is bringing the program – free and open to the public – to Danvers High School on Tuesday at 7 p.m. Recently Mattleman gave a presentation to a crowd of 300 in Franklin.

"People are really desperate for the language, and desperate for new perspective," said Mattleman. He uses real life stories, and talks about things parents can implement immediately. A lot of his strategies are focused on changing the way parents communicate with their children.

The presentation covers topics like depression, suicide, and drug and alcohol use.

"What the heck do you say when your kid comes home and says, 'I’m so depressed, I wish I was dead,'" Mattleman said on Thursday. "A lot of parents might say, 'You don't mean that.' The question is what to say."

In a scenario like the one he described, Mattleman says parents can say, "Tell me more," instead of dismissing the statement.

"Teens want parent to listen," said Mattleman. "On the surface, it’s true that they’ve told us to butt out of their lives," but what they actually want is to be heard.

Mattleman, a mental health counselor and trainer, has a B.A. from Clark University and an M.S. in Counseling from the University of Hartford. He has led youth services organizations in Stoughton and Needham, and has a private consulting practice.

"I want them to walk away feeling energized," said Mattleman when asked what he wants his audience to learn. "So much of this parenting is about stamina. I want them to go home and just jump in and try something new."

Photo courtesy of Jon Mattleman