4th and Forever: Winning Ugly.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the word of the day is: Lackadaisical: adj. Lacking spirit, liveliness, or interest; languid.

I toyed with other words, but this is a family newspaper, and in the end lackadaisical seemed to capture best the tone and tenor of this strangely disjointed and wholly unsatisfactory performance. Perhaps it was a hangover from the emotional roller-coaster of last week’s loss to the 49ers ( the 49ers seemed equally drained last night against the Seahawks). Or perhaps we should simply accept the old mantra, a win is a win is a win, feel grateful that the Patriots eked out a barely competent win against the lowly Jaguars, and move on. But Patriot fans have become accustomed to so much more than feeling grateful or mere competence. Having said that, anyone unfortunate enough to suffer through the barren futility of much of the first half yesterday would have settled for competence;. instead we were fed a steady diet of ineptitude. On their first 4 possessions the Patriots went interception, field goal, intercept, punt. Thin gruel, indeed. After 15 minutes it was fairly certain none of the fandom was stepping up and asking: ”Please sir, may I have some more?” I am sure I wasn’t alone in feeling trapped in a timeless loop condemned to watch endless games between Kansas City and Jacksonville play out for all eternity. “The horror! The horror!” A sense of disbelief descended on the fandom who wondered collectively whether (a) prematurely pounding the eggnog offered relief, or (b) they would have been better served spending the afternoon with the significant other and the weanlings trudging through mall hell in search of unwanted argyle socks and matching sweater vests or some other perfectly ugly seasonal garb produced by legions of color-blind, sadistic elves. Before our very eyes, the Patriots had inexplicably morphed from GoodHoHoHoPatriots into BadBahHumbugPatriots.

Perhaps, Mike Mularkey, the Jaguars’ coach, was correct when he mused after the game that “the Patriots were playing for the bye; we were playing for respect”. And respect was most certainly earned. The lowly Jags totaled 436 yards in offense, outstripping the league’s best offense. In the 1^st quarter alone, they racked up 202 yards. Even when they reverted to their accustomed level of mediocrity in the second half, it took an interception by Chung in the end zone on the game’s last play to seal this less than famous victory. Whatever was troubling the Patriots, whether lack of motivation or a case of collective brain freeze, the results were almost calamitous for their psyche and SB aspirations.

Missed assignments, poor blocking, sloppy route running, loose throws; it was all there. Against a better team than the Jaguars? Well, perish the thought. All day the Patriots were in a funk offensively. They looked confused, playing as if they were strangers trying to make a connection in a crowded bar. The offensive line play, usually a staple of efficiency and reliability, was woefully inconsistent, frequently being run over, run through and run around. Brady was sacked 3 times and hit more often than is good for him. Hernandez was among the missing; he was targeted 5 times but managed only 1 catch, and, embarrassingly, was outplayed by the backup TEs. He seemed to have checked out for the holidays. Lloyd had 6 catches but was targeted 12 times. As for Tom Terrific? Well, on this day, he was decidedly not Captain America. TT seemed suddenly deconstructed. Passes sailed high and wide, leading the receiver too far, or struggling to catch-up to their intended target. Throws that he has made successfully a thousand times, and no doubt makes routinely in his sleep while counting BradyBunchenBabies, bounced harmlessly away, or were forced into coverage resulting in another 2 interceptions. In the past 2 weeks, Brady has become positively profligate with the ball. Thank God for the inestimable and ever reliable Welker who had yet another 10 reception game; and, to a lesser extent, Ridley who churned out 88 yards on 18 carries, and most importantly, didn’t fumble away the ball.

Early in the game, the Patriots’ defense appeared to be taking on water faster than the ill-fated Titanic. It seemed the changes necessitated by injury led to mass confusion. In the absence of Talib (who played only 8 snaps) and Dennard, McCourty was shuffled back to corner where he has suffered in the past, and Chung reemerged as a starting safety. Despite his late game heroics, Chung’s play was spotty, and it was easy to see why Belichick decided Gregory and McCourty were better options in the middle of the secondary. Eventually, however, the mix-‘n’-match defense sorted out their assignments and righted the listing ship. In the end, they preserved the win (barely) for the sputtering offense.

Perhaps, this game will serve as a timely reminder for the Pats that simply showing up with their C game won’t get it done. There are no do-overs in this league. By the look and sound of BB and TT at game’s end, this sorry spectacle won’t soon be repeated. If I was a betting man, I’d wager BB and TT will be growling all week and lackadaisical won’t be the word of the day come Sunday in the season’s regular season finale against Miami.