The Loneliness of the Man Killing Giant Clam: Bill Kalmar

By Bill Kalmar

Anyone who has ever traveled I-75 north in Michigan has seen the sign at exit number 326 heralding the Man Killing Giant Clam attraction.

I suspect it is a favorite stop for the hundreds of Michigan legislators as they wend their way to Mackinac Island for the annual boondoggle known as the Detroit Regional Chamber’s Mackinac Policy Conference.

Unfortunately, visits for the clam this year will be limited as many of The Island merrymakers will remain in Lansing. Seems Republican Speaker Kevin Cotter has ordered a session for May 31 through June 3 to vote on legislation.

This certainly puts a crimp in the plans of the revelers as it coincides with the Island Conference.

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So instead of packing up the balloons, the party puffs, the togas and the cheese curls, some lawmakers will have to be content reviewing, as Cotter states, “voting on the bills we’ve got on the floor,” and working on the next state budget and a restructuring of Detroit’s ailing school district.

To me, that sure sounds like their job, but heck what do I know?

Now I suspect that some of the legislators will ignore Cotter’s directive and sneak up to The Island because who can ignore the pungent aroma of the fudge, the pristine golf course, the midnight excursions to the Grand Hotel Cupola Bar and the stroll around The Island on a rented bike.

And if someone can actually attend a meeting, that would be a plus even though nothing of substance is ever discussed or decided on. So alert the giant clam. Visitors are on the way.

(William J. Kalmar, of Lake Orion, is an occasional guest columnist for Patch. His extensive business background includes service with a Fortune 500 bank and the Michigan Quality Council, of which he served as director from 1993 through 2003. Now semi-retired, Kalmar does freelance writing for several publications. He is a member of the USA Today Vacation Panel, a mystery shopper for several companies, and a frequent presenter and lecturer.)

Image credit: Flickr / Creative Commons