Thanks, But I'll Pass On The Chip Dip!

Thanks, But I’ll Pass On The Chip Dip!

WARNING: If you have ever double dipped a potato chip or retrieved a food item from a salad bar and then returned it to the tray, you may find this column hurtful and cruel. So you have been warned. If on the other hand, you abhor situations where food servings may have been tainted by people who perhaps lack common manners, then this column is for you.

Have you noticed lately that we have become a nation of slobs, pigs, and societal dirt bags and cretins? We have abandoned hygiene manners. The salad bars in restaurants have become a feeding trough for these undisciplined scavengers as they pick and choose through the various items. And some of these slobs are double dippers! I saw a guy the other day in a wheelchair positioning himself in front of the olive exhibit at a local grocery store and wheeling himself down the line as he sampled all the olives. I was tempted to say something but people like that are clueless when it comes to societal hygiene and thus I remained silent.

And of course the buffet line at a wedding always brings out the uncouth cretins who sometimes taste an item before placing it on their plate and then return the item to the warming tray when they decide it is not to their liking.

And how about the sample bowls in various grocery stores where you can dip into a sauce with a cracker? I never succumb to the temptation because I've watched people double dip which as has been pointed out so accurately on a “Seinfeld” episode is like "putting your whole mouth in the dip!"

Is there an answer for all this piggish behavior? Maybe we should create a citizen enforced ticket wherein we as neat nicks give these repugnant chow hounds a notice with a list of how to properly dine in public and couple that with an eating manners book.

By the way, if you see me at the movies, don't ask me to share my buttered popcorn with you!