Mothering While Battling Breast Cancer

Motherhood is challenging. It comes with much responsibility and as well as guilt. It can be difficult to have confidence in raising these little humans to be well-adjusted, productive adults. When Minnetonka resident Katy Tessman was 39, what she knew for sure was: 1. Read aloud to your children, 2. Spend time together outdoors, and 3. Foster your children’s imaginations.

But when Katy was faced with a breast cancer diagnosis, she felt like she had fallen down a deep dark hole with no ladder to climb out. Her confidence in motherhood was gone. How do you explain cancer to your young children while you’re fighting the hardest physical battle of your life? Katy has two sons; at the time of her diagnosis, Maxwell was three years old and Louis was six.

“My breasts had nurtured my two babies, defined my femininity, and now they were gone. I felt like I had been stripped of my magic powers. And I was at a loss about how to help them through this new journey called cancer.” Katy said.

What did Katy do? Katy thought about the three things that she knew for sure:

1. Read aloud to your children

Katy went to the library and looked for an age appropriate book that explained the basics of cancer. Katy wanted a book that instilled hope; a book that would help her kids be courageous when she would be looking and acting so differently. Katy never found that book. So, she decided to explain what was going to happen in her own way.

“I developed a garden theme while explaining each step of my surgeries and treatments to my sons,” said Katy. “I told them cancer is a bad weed in my garden.”

2. Spend time together outdoors

To rid a garden of weeds, people prefer pulling them rather than spraying them. Cancer treatments usually require surgery, chemotherapy, and/or radiation.

“Taking medicine that made me sick was hard for my boys to comprehend and difficult to explain. The garden analogy made it easier for them to understand,” said Katy.

Because her sons stayed positive throughout the cancer journey, Katy self-published her family’s story to help others get through the awful battle of fighting cancer. Her book is called “Our Mama is a Beautiful Garden” and Katy’s goal is to help families find bravery and optimism during a time that can be so dark and hopeless.

The book is written in the voice of Katy’s young sons. “I'm confident that having Louis and Maxwell tell our family story will give other families the strength and courage they need during an awful time that can feel quite hopeless,” said Katy.

3. Foster your children’s imaginations

During her recovery, Katy and her sons read books about courage, like “The Little Engine That Could” and “Katy and the Big Snow.” But mostly they read books about Wonder Woman. A character Katy imagined herself as becoming.

“I came to an understanding that chemo gave me a superpower to fight off getting that awful cancer weed again,” Katy said. “Walking into the surgery room on my 40th birthday, I was wearing a prayer shawl over my shoulders and a tiara nestled into my new pixie haircut. Those gifts of support have turned into a superhero cape and crown. I have fought the battle of my life and won.”

Award Winning Book

In recognition of helping other mothers navigate their cancer battles with their children, Katy was named a ChangeMaker by the Minnesota Women’s Press. Katy has sold over 1000 copies and partnered with organizations such as Young Survival Coalition (youngsurvival.org), Hope Chest for Breast Cancer (hopechest.com), and Patterson Dental’s Grins for a Good Cause program to donate books to help families start a discussion on the topic of cancer.

October 2018 marked the fifth anniversary of her book “Our Mama is a Beautiful Garden” and Katy has re-launched a second edition. The international organization, Mom’s Choice Awards® (MCA) has awarded to Katy their Gold Seal of Excellence, naming her book one of the best products available for families.

“I am proud my book is helping so many mothers and families, and receiving these prestigious honors for my book has been so empowering,” said Katy. “However, finishing my fight with children who stayed optimistic gave me the courage to have confidence in being victorious.”

Learn More

You can learn more about Katy and her book for children about breast cancer, “Our Mama is a Beautiful Garden,” at: katytessman.com.