Ethical Society Mid-Rivers Preaches Community, Equality

ST. CHARLES, MO — Jill Aul, a retired Becky-David Elementary School kindergarten teacher, grew up in a Jewish family. When she married her husband, Bill, then Catholic, they decided to teach their children about both of their religions, letting them explore and develop their own beliefs as they grew.

They didn't attend synagogue (there isn't one where Aul lives in St. Charles County) or Mass regularly; neither was really that all that devout, Aul said. And it wasn't until the pair attended an interfaith vigil for Matthew Shepard, a young Wyoming man murdered in 1998 because he was gay, that they realized something was missing from their lives. It wasn't religion, per se, Aul said, but rather the sense of community that often comes with it.

Aul will talk more about that at a public event this Sunday at the Ethical Society Mid-Rivers in St. Peters and again on Thursday, Jan. 31, at the St. Louis Ethical Society.

At that vigil for Matthew Shepard, Aul heard a speaker from a new Mid-Rivers chapter of the American Ethical Union based in St. Peters. The group, founded by New York rabbi Felix Adler in 1877, preaches "deed, not creed," — it started the first free kindergarten in New York City and its members helped to found the NAACP and ACLU.

"Religion was never super important in our family," Aul said. "It was always more about the golden rule, treating people the way you want to be treated, making the right choices, things like that. We never even realized there was a religion based on that."

Today, Aul is not only a member of the Ethical Society Mid-Rivers, she's the president. Her small congregation meets not in a traditional religious building but at the University of Missouri's Extension Center in St. Peters, and welcomes Jews, Catholics, atheists and agnostics alike, as well as people from any other religious background or none at all.

The first time Aul attended a meeting of the Ethical Society, she said it felt different from other religious gatherings she'd attended.

"When we walked in, we were greeted by a really warm, caring group of people," she said. "The Mid-Rivers society is small, as most of them are. Our physical space doesn't look or feel church-y in any way, it's very casual. So, that's the biggest thing that struck us, is that it didn't feel like a structured religious service in any way."

Aul says she is now an atheist, but that the Ethical Society isn't an atheist organization. Rather, it emphasizes doing the right thing because it's the right thing to do, not because of any belief in reward or punishment in the afterlife. She said the group goes out of its way to welcome everyone, including those with strong religious beliefs and those without.

The Ethical Society also emphasizes social and environmental justice in many of its teachings. During this past election, the group hosted phone banks in support of Clean Missouri redistricting reform and a statewide minimum wage increase. The group participates in an outreach program for the local homeless community; it partners with the Youth in Need emergency shelter in St. Charles and participates in adopt-a-highway programs to pick up roadside litter.

"We're not a political group," Aul explained, "but we tend to share strong beliefs about LGBT and racial equality."

That's part of what initially drew her to the congregation. Aul's son is transgender and she founded both Pride St. Charles and a St. Charles chapter of PFLAG, a national support organization for parents and families with LGBT children.

Between 2009, when same-sex marriage was legalized in Iowa, and 2015, when the Supreme Court legalized it nationwide, the St. Louis and Mid-Rivers Ethical Societies organized bus trips and officiated same-sex weddings in Iowa for members of the local LGBT community.

In addition to its programs for adults — weekly talks, potlucks, pancake breakfasts and outreach programs — the Ethical Society Mid-Rivers offers a Sunday School program for kids. Sunday Ethical Education for Kids — SEEK — teaches kids about ethics, world religions and social justice issues, as well as the group's core values of free thought, kindness, fairness, inclusivity and responsibility, among others.

For anyone wanting to learn more about the Ethical Society Mid-Rivers, or Ethical Culture in general, Aul said she will be giving an introductory talk called "Church without God" at the Ethical Society Mid-Rivers on Sunday, Jan. 27, at 3 p.m., and again at the St. Louis Ethical Society on Thursday, Jan. 31, at 7 p.m. The talks will serve as an overview for anyone curious about the organization, delving into the Ethical Society's history and its various program on offer.

For more information, visit ethicalsocietymr.org.

Photo by Renee Schiavone/Patch