'Sanctuary' for Men Found in Local Support Group

Written by Kim Tran

Today, if you’re a woman, there are plenty of support groups, whether you’re a mother, a wife, going through an emotional transition in life. However, a similar outlet for men is not as common.

In Morristown, there is a long-running group that offers resources to men, and it meets on Wednesday nights.

Men to Men is open to the public and free, although a $5 donation toward reserving the meeting room is appreciated. They have several operating principles, the first of which is: “We are here for the purpose of providing a place of safety, of non-judgmental support, and a sanctuary for ourselves as men.”

The members come from all over: East Hanover, Florham Park, Cedar Knolls, Chatham, Millburn, Summit, Somerset, Bridgewater, Rockaway, Newton, Morristown, Livingston, Randolph, Pompton Plains, Metuchen, Wayne, Budd Lake, Basking Ridge, New Vernon, New Milford, Union City, Long Valley, Richland Town, PA, Pen Argyl, PA.

The group was started in June 2001 by Dale Leffler, Brad Nelson and Richard Oates. Oates passed away in February. 

“Men come to us who maybe dealing with divorce, loss of a loved one, job loss, illness, financial pressures, relationships, and a host of other life issues,” said Nelson. 

“The names and faces of attendees remain anonymous so that the men can feel free to express themselves openly. No one takes another man’s inventory. It is a private and safe place. Given the challenges of day to day living, many of the men continue to attend just to stay centered.”

Nelson added that Men to Men formed because “the men's group that we belonged to was losing focus and has subsequently dissolved.”

The two-hour meeting starts at 7 p.m. each Wednesday. For more information or to contact the organization, go to the website at http://mentomen.net/

“When they visit our website, they get a better understanding of the kind of topics that we address during our meetings by clicking on the Topics tab. They soon find that they are not unique and definitely not alone,” said Nelson. 

“We do not have a group leader; we have a group facilitator. The facilitator opens and closes and ensures the smooth running of the meeting,” said Nelson. “It is the facilitator’s responsibility to keep the group true to the operating principles.”