Russ's Ravings: Youth Sports Teams That Are Jerks Deserve To Lose

Editor's note: The following is Patch North Jersey Regional Manager Russ Crespolini's, hopefully, weekly column. It is reflective of his opinion alone.

Youth softball season is in full swing, and I am going to own up to the fact that I am not a great youth sports parent. I offer very little in terms of advice and experience because despite playing many sports for many years was objectively terrible at all of them.

I feel pity for all of the coaches who saw my name on a roster and had to smile and pretend they were happy about it. The same cannot be said for my daughter. Like her mother, she is very athletic and loves sports. Last year and this year, she has focused on softball.

I have always enjoyed going to her games. Soccer, basketball, softball both travel and recreation. I happen to live in a community I like. And for the most part, my daughter's teammates and their parents are just good people.

They laugh at my jokes. They are supportive of their children and are just decent people whose company I enjoy. Same for the coaches we've encountered so far. I love going to the games, win or lose. I prefer them to be competitive, but that isn't a deal breaker.

Is my kid enjoying herself? Putting out maximum effort? Learning something? Great. Then I am happy.

Unless the other team is a bunch of jerks. And I really am not talking about the players for the most part. The players, if they act that way, are only emulating what is being modeled for them.

And you know the models I am talking about.

The parents are pounding beers in the parking lot like they are pregaming the Super Bowl. The coaches are vicious to their own players in critique and tone. They argue calls, often trying to intimidate the umpire. The mock the opposition. They are there to fight more than to play.

While these teams might be good at sports, they are just plain bad sports.

In cases like this?

Suddenly the outcome of the game matters to me. My palms start to sweat, my heart pounds like I am waiting for Charlie Haynes to catch the final out of the 1996 World Series. I want them to lose. I want them to lose big. I don't want it to be close. I want it to be a demoralizing loss that makes these people question their place in the universe. I want to watch the veins swell along the neck of the coaches as they try to contain their fury. I want the parents to angrily shove their empties into their trash bags as they pack away their foldable chairs.

I never care if my daughter's team wins...but I want those teams to lose.

I am not talking about aggressive coaches and passionate parents. I know the difference. They don't.
I have no patience when it comes to behavior like that. These games are supposed to be fun. And the fun is marred by adults trying to compensate for something they are obviously missing in their personal lives.

And so I want them to lose.

I don't know if this makes me a bad person or not.

All I know is if I am this bad at 10U softball, what the heck am I going to be like when we reach high school?

Russ Crespolini is the North Jersey Regional Manager for Patch Media, an adjunct professor and college newspaper advisor. His columns have won awards from the National Newspaper Association and the New Jersey Press Association.

He writes them in hopes of connecting with readers and engaging with them. He can be reached at russ.crespolini@patch.com