'Magic' Morristown Man, Known By Many, Faces Pancreatic Cancer

MORRISTOWN, NJ — Amanda Tahlmore lives 600 miles away from Steve Hogan now. But she feels just as close to "Hogie," if not more, than when they met 20 years ago at the former Sweet Dreams Cafe in Madison.

Hogie, of Morristown, stood out in the place misfits went to belong. He had dreadlocks, tattoos, gauged ears and a self-deprecating sense of humor.

"I was immediately drawn to him," said Tahlmore, who is now a trauma nurse in Charlotte. "I had to know him."

Hogie seemingly knows everyone, and everyone recognizes Hogie, according to Tahlmore. Now Hogie can use everyone's help as he battles pancreatic cancer. Tahlmore, who calls him a best friend, started a GoFundMe.

Sweet Dreams

The Sweet Dreams Cafe is now a memory, but that's where Tahlmore and Hogie built a lifelong connection. Tahlmore frequented the shop in her college days to listen to music, drink tea from a mismatched mug, play chess or spades, smoke cigarettes and sing and listen to performances of hippie music.

Tahlmore first saw Hogie when he performed, and he knew everyone in the thick crowd. This wasn't uncommon.

"(I) met him once in the Music Den when I was looking at amps," Richard Maggio wrote on the GoFundMe. "We chatted about gigging in the area and places to try. Such a nice guy and left an impression. Such a shame to hear about his health."

His guitar had three strings, but you wouldn't know it, she said. Tahlmore extended her hand and said, "Hi, I'm Mandy." He grinned ear to ear and said, "Howdy."

Tahlmore was just a patron at the time, but eventually they worked together at Sweet Dreams. They passed time by playing "stupid games" with the customers, she said. They'd tell patrons, "Buy one coffee, and get the second at full price" or, "What was Big Country's greatest hit? If you get it right, coffee is on you."

"Hogie knew how to connect," Tahlmore said. "He knew how to make magic happen."

Hogie is part of the Morristown High School class of 1997. Time with Hogie meant driving around Morristown at all hours of the night, exchanging their memories from before they met.

"It was common to find us at a diner until sunrise, writing poems on napkins, smoking cigarettes, talking about life, laughing," Tahlmore said. "Sometimes we would watch the sunrise from the graveyard on a hill."

Trials and Tribulations

Tahlmore once told Hogie about a person she considered a big brother. She visited Alex daily on the way home from school. Tahlmore never knew he did drugs, but Alex died of a heroin overdose when she was 16.

When she told Hogie about him, he gasped and grabbed his leg. He said, "I am the lizard king. I can do anything." Tahlmore felt confused, and Hogie said, "My lizard tattoo, it's on fire."

Alex had owned a huge iguana, who had his own room. When Alex died, Tahlmore would play "The End" by The Doors — their frontman, Jim Morrison, went by "the Lizard King" as an alter ego.

"Hogie couldn't have known this connection," she said. "He knew how to attract the energy he wanted in his life, the law of attraction. He nailed it almost too well."

Throughout the years, Hogie and Tahlmore stayed in touch. She bounced around the county. Hogie met his future wife, Amanda Zeiher, in 2001. She always played with his hair.

Seven years ago, right before Thanksgiving, Hogie's mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. "Mama Hogie" was his rock.

"Mama Hogie was the sweetest little lady," Tahlmore said. "You had to yell to talk to her, and in her Jersey accent, she'd yell right back but always with a smile."

Hogie played guitar for her and other patients at the hospital every day she was there. He kept coming as patients in the cancer wing continued to die.

After his mother died, Hogie and Tahlmore had tearful conversations. Hogie talked about the seemingly cold reactions from health care workers.

It was jarring to me, that to the outside world, healthcare workers appear cold, calloused, and robotic," Tahlmore said. "Introspectively, we are. If I'm being honest. We have to be. It's not our story. It's not our loss. It's not our loved one. We can't take everyone home, or we will destroy our own selves with grief."

But the next day, Tahlmore found herself a part of the worst day in a family's life while she worked. She could only think of Hogie and his mother, and it broke through a cold demeanor.

"I allowed all the feels," she said. "In the end, they told me that they loved me, and I would always be a part of their story."

Hogie Gets Diagnosed

Hogie wasn't feeling well, and doctors treated him for indigestion. He and Tahlmore talked about the coronavirus, since she already had it. Hogie felt all the things his mother felt when she got sick. It was a week before the seventh anniversary of her death.

In self-deprecating fashion, Hogie said, "What if I have pancreatic cancer? Wouldn't that be some s***!" They laughed. Tahlmore assured him he most likely didn't have it but to get it checked.

Over the next two weeks, he had a kidney stone, got ultrasounds. Tahlmore got a call late Tuesday night while she worked. The voicemail came from Hogie:

"Hey friend. It’s Hogie calling. I don’t know if you’re working, but if you can, try to give me a ring. Otherwise I’ll reach out to you tomorrow.”

When they connected Tahlmore heard that the most magical person she's met, the man with no enemies, has pancreatic cancer. In what she calls "typical Hogie fashion," he wrote the following on Facebook:

"I have no plans of shuffling off this young in life. I promised myself I’d make it to 72, so I at least have to get there. Thank you to everyone who made the first leg of this journey so much fun. The 2nd leg will be even better. F*** Cancer."

Click here for the GoFundMe.

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