Real Housewives Of New Jersey RECAP: S10E09 Abs And Jabs

NEW JERSEY — Tonight's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey —Season 10 Episode 9 —began with a play-by-play and analysis of last week's fight between Margaret Josephs and Danielle Staub, in which Margaret (allegedly) threw water on Danielle, and Danielle (allegedly) pulled Margaret's hair. (We may hear differently later from their lawyers, especially since Margaret says she has whiplash.) For those who disparage reality TV, why is this post-game analysis any different from any other sports analysis? Reality shows are big business. The "Hair Pull Heard 'Round The World" had only slightly less drama than a Super Bowl.

After reviewing the tape, we then get to review the apres pull, which is French for "After The Hair Pull."

After the hair-pull: Teresa Giudice leaves the Steve Dann store with Danielle. Danielle heads home and Teresa returns to the store. She is cross-examined by the other housewives, who don't understand how Teresa could ever take Danielle's side. Particularly since around ten seasons ago, Teresa and Danielle had their own epic battle (see: The Table Flip Seen 'Round The World.)

Teresa points out that Margaret poured water on Danielle first. Another woman says that the water was payback for a prior insult, so they were even, and the hair-pull was extra. Can we get a scorecard for all of this? Does a water-pour equal a hair-pull? Is a hair-pull worse? What say you?

Later in the episode, Teresa goes shopping at Fortunoff for pool furniture (it's really tough to be poor). Joe Gorga, hero, comes to help her pool furniture shop in her hour of need. He asks her why she took Danielle's side, considering Danielle "yanked" Margaret's hair back. Teresa once again patiently explains that Dainelle had water poured on her first. Joe points out, "I heard it went really back." Again we ask: does a water-pour equal a hair-pull? We need a referee to make a ruling on the play.

Joe suggests that Teresa apologize at the upcoming fashion show. (The great thing about these shows is all the excuses to get enemies together around expensive clothing. What are the budgets?)

The housewives all attend Melissa Gorga's Envy show (that's where the abs come in, particularly those belonging to Frankie Catania). At the event, Jennifer suggests to Teresa that the water wasn't as big a deal as the hair-pull. So Teresa pours water near her foot. "It's only water," Teresa says. OK, this is brilliant.

But this isn't the highlight of the show. The highlight is Melissa Gorga saying she's not sure she can handle having a career, raising three kids, and (possibly someday) dealing with a newborn. Makes sense, but these shows need to start adding a dash of honesty. Do the Gorgas really do all that by themselves? Or do they have "help"? How come the help is always offscreen? Reality shows, start showing us the nannies. Don't hide the help! Show us the nanny!

For the recap of last week's episode, click here.