Take Action When Your Child Experiences Cyberbullying

by Lisa-Michelle Kucharz

By now, everyone has heard of teens and tweens experiencing cyberbullying. Some of the online abuse we have witnessed in recent years has been extremely cruel and unfortunately, in some cases, the relentless incidents were motivating factors of suicide. You never expect your child to be the next victim, but one in three teens will face online harassment. According to the Pew Research Center, one-third of all teenagers who use the internet have been the target of abusive online behavior; receiving threatening messages, non-consensual forwarding of private emails or text messages, rumors being spread about them, and non-consensual sharing of embarrassing photos.

When I faced “the epitome of cyberbullying and the most egregious form of posting” ever reviewed by the judge who presided over my groundbreaking case that resulted in my harasser serving time in jail, then ultimately being banned from using the Internet for two years, I learned firsthand how to catch a cyberstalker and get my life back. I have since joined forces with advocates and legislators to help diminish cyberbullying by spreading awareness, sharing best practices, and advocating for prevention initiatives.

In today’s fast-paced world, when online content is sent, posted, and removed in the blink of an eye, strategic and quick action is necessary to address the abuse. Parents taking immediate, careful action in response to cyberbullying make a big difference in helping to end the abuse and caring for the well-being of their children.

If your child has been the victim of cyberbullying by another minor, take action and find support. The following are important steps to end the harassment:

• Don’t communicate with the child engaging in cyberbullying, or his or her parents or legal guardian.
• Instruct your child not to engage or retaliate.
• Offer your child support, and contact a mental health counselor, as needed.
• Document all incidents. Create an outline with dates, times, social networks, apps, websites, individuals involved, and known witnesses.

If the child engaging in cyberbullying attends the same school or a school in the same district as your child:

• Contact your child’s principal and request a face-to-face meeting.
• Review the school’s anti-bullying policy. Be prepared to discuss how the policy was broken or challenges with the policy.
• Explain the situation fully. Be prepared, and bring organized printouts. Share what happened and how it has impacted your child.
• Outline your expectations.
• Listen carefully to the school’s response, and ask questions. Request specific information on how the school will handle the situation.
• Take detailed notes of the conversation, and summarize your understanding of the meeting and next steps.
• Follow up with the principal to ensure steps are carried out, and inform the school of additional incidents.
• Obtain copies of all documentation and reports.
• Follow up with your child to see if the cyberbullying has stopped.

If the cyberbullying continues, consider contacting the school board, superintendent of schools, board of education, state or federal authorities, or law enforcement.

• If the child engaging in cyberbullying does not attend the same school or a school in your child’s district, contact local law enforcement.
• If your child is in immediate danger, call 9-1-1. Otherwise, contact your local police station, if the cyberbullying includes threats of violence.
• Block the account(s) of the child engaging in cyberbullying on all social networks, apps, and other sites in which your child is active.
• Report abusive content to social networks, apps, and other sites.
• Consider blocking mutual acquaintances of the child engaging in cyberbullying.
• Make sure your child does not share private information online.
• Do not publicly post information and photos of your child. Change your settings to ensure your posts are private, for connections or friends only.
• Set up alerts to inform you if content about your child is posted online at google.com/alerts.
• Find support to help prepare you to work with law enforcement or navigate the judicial process, if necessary.
• Consider contacting an attorney to explain relevant laws where you reside; advocate on your behalf with law enforcement, the school, or organizations; consider issuing a cease and desist order; or assist with defamatory content removal.

You don’t have to face this alone. Reach out to one of the organizations helping parents address cyberbullying:

• The Cybersmile Foundation Global Support Service
• Wired Safely Help Service
• Heart Mob
• STOMP Out Bullying

Learn about additional resources.

Cyberbullying continues to be a major concern for parents and society, and preparing yourself to handle it expediently and as best as possible will be helpful to you and your child.