Opinion: There is Life After Divorce

Some say divorce is for losers, folks who lost in marriage. However I say divorce is for optimist who believe there just might be something better out there and they are not afraid to go out there and find it. After all life is too short.

My divorce was brutal. I was proud of my family. I married right after college, made my folks happy. However the conditions at home in 1999 after 20 years of marriage were past fixable, the marriage was unfixable. No need to look back and play the blame game because there was/is enough blame to go around. The main fact was no one was happy. Then the chess game of divorce started and it was like the movie "Groundhog Day," meaning everyday started from square one in a state of legal war.

Being moved out of the home I choose, and bought was brutal, but being homeless was liberating now as I look back. It came at a huge cost, just ask my now grown two daughters. I found out who my friends were and who were the superficial friends. The truth was I needed to make new ones. I won't lie and say it was bliss from the get-go but eventually I found a rhythm to being and acting like a lost soul. I found comfort and companionship there, afterall misery loves company.

In twelve months I lost my family business, my dad, my home, my money, and my family. The year 2000 was quite a game changer. Slowly I rediscovered who I was, and who I was really meant to be. Working from the bottom up I reinvented myself. I landed way out on the east end of Long Island and went to work to survive not to thrive. But while surviving I met the greatest people in the world, the people who are the nuts and bolts that hold our society together. They only know hard work and never quitting. Totally "can do" people. I learned from their example.

Then one night walking the dog on the beach in Montauk while looking at the stars in that dark moonless sky over the ocean I realized the essence of being alive in the moment and the power within it. I wrote articles about everything and anything and enjoyed meeting the characters behind each story. Most of all I fell in love with life! I enjoyed the battle of making every day special.

After I had swore to everyone who would listen that I would never marry again and just when I didn't see it coming I met someone. That was nine years ago and I still feel "the buzz" like I just met her last night. She helped me write two novels. She has created a home for me that I love coming home too. I remember when I discussed divorce with my Dad before he died, he said, "Don't," then he said this, "Tom, who do think you will ever find who will actually put up with your B.S.?"

My life just proves our dads weren't always right on giving advice. From day one,( but after 9 years of divorce induced bachelorhood) I put two feet into my relationship. I coupled with a good one. She buzzed me, she still does. So you see there is "Life After Divorce!"