Opinion: Why Falling in Love is not Overrated

The statistics about love are all over the place. More than half marriages fail. People are happiest when they are in love. People are most depressed after big break-ups. There are more people unwilling to commit to long term relationships then ever before yet there are more people on dating sites then ever before. So what does all this mean. To me it means simply that love is still the greatest thing around and finding it is no more difficult than it was thousands of years ago because in the end folks just get smitten.

In my 65 years I have experienced both the highs and lows of love. I have been rejected, accepted, seduced, dumped, married, unmarried, remarried, bought, sold, billed and even paid yet in the end I feel there is nothing like feeling love. There is that unique magic when giving love, and getting love, and knowing love comes all with the same person. To me to have the intensity of a one-night stand/an affair or a fling last forever is everything.

To feel this way one must almost experience everything and I think I did. I was selected, rejected, cheated on, was caught cheating, thought wrongly I was in love and thought wrongly I wasn't in love. I do know there are some who find their mates very young and travel whole lifetimes together, that just wasn't my lot in life, is it yours?

When I had an odd job as a doorman to check identifications at a trendy East Hampton hotspot late in the evening I would be asked do I believe there is someone for everyone? I always answered yes but saying, "You never find what you are looking for, you always find something else." Then I usually added something I wrote on a napkin in a Maryland motel room twenty years ago, "Love is a vein of energy that flows in the air like a river; when you fall into that river, you feel the power of a billion suns." I am hoping most people reading this totally understand.

I was at last challenged to be willing to put my heart, soul,body and mind into a relationship. I said, "Why not try?" and I am now glad I did. Feeling in love makes springtime special, makes full moon nights more romantic, somehow adds magic to thunderstorms, and basically takes being lonely permanently out of the equation. Sharing is an acquired skill. Sharing life becomes as natural as breathing when you find the right partner. The billion dollar question is how does one find the right one? There really isn't one correct answer but I do have one belief. Keep yours senses open for a feeling or instinctive primal subliminal message. Do not be closed minded, I want this only type of mindset . Learn to love the beauty of the smallest things in life and the energy of love will find you a true mate; more so then Match.com, Tinder, or Harmony.com. I believe in love finding you in the real world when you are genuinely are at ease with yourself.

Unfortunately these days too many first get married to their careers. The necessity of a steady flow of income trumps all other needs. I believe that is why falling in love in our late teens and college years seemed easier. Too bad back then many of us had other ideas about getting married or falling in love with the wrong people. Some experts say there are a few great choices for partners in everyones lifetime. I say if it you feel it go with it, after all there are plenty of good lawyers to hire if things just don't work out. Yet if they do work out living life feeling the power of a billion suns doesn't suck.