Spring

Spring is finally emerging, albeit a bit reluctantly, but being quietly pushed into reality by the force of the Forsythia filling our world with its golden joy.  And as this wondrous season arrives so does a plethora of “days” to celebrate or not.  We have already had Mother’s Day, the one holiday that evokes a Pandora’s Box of emotions.  Following shortly we will have Armed Forces Day, Memorial Day, D Day, Father’s Day, Flag Day, Parents Day, Senior Citizens Day, Labor Day and on and on until we arrive at Grandparents Day on September 13.  Obviously, I have omitted some of the lesser celebrated occasions of celebration.

While sitting in the Diner yesterday waiting for my friend, it was difficult not to overhear a conversation at the adjoining table between two women of my vintage.  One friend was telling the other how she “hated” Mother’s Day since her Mother had died twenty years ago.  She further stated, “It becomes more difficult each year.”

That is pretty much the same way my own Mother felt about the annual Sunday in May.  No matter what my Sister or I tried to do, it never quite dispelled the loss she felt.  There are also other reasons I think many women would agree it is a difficult day,  While none of us would ever disagree that it is incredibly wonderful being remembered by our children, we have to wonder if the original tribute has somehow become distorted.

When Tiffany’s advertises “Diamonds for Mother,” and further down the page, there is another ad from Dior suggesting their haute couture purse as an appropriate gift, perhaps the significance of the original celebration has somehow been lost in today’s mobile world.  The original day of tribute to Mothers was initiated by Anna Jarvis in 1908, and her goal was to have Mothers honored with a personal letter from a child or children.  Unfortunately, within the next decade the day had begun to be merchandised with gifts and commercially designed cards.  Sadly, this well intentioned woman was arrested when she protested the selling of carnations, the flower that eventually became associated with Mother’s Day.

As Father’s Day approaches, there will most likely be similar ads.  However, most families will decide to celebrate the day with a meal either at a local restaurant or backyard barbeque.  I always recall both my Dad and my Husband expressing the same sentiment.  “Please, I don’t need anything.” One of my wise friends remarked the other day, “When our children are so thoughtful and supportive throughout the year, there is no need for recognition on a special day.”

My Sister and I usually gave our Mother not diamonds or Dior purses, but a gift.  Sometimes flowers, often candy, but always something.  Most Fathers receive a tie or possibly another item of clothing.  My Dad wasn’t around long after I married and never knew his grandchildren.  Mom was more fortunate, but I believe the gift that mattered most to her during the last years she shared with us were the daily phone calls.  I remember that often these days when my IPad or telephone rings, and it is an electronic visit from one of my far flung children. 

And as the sun becomes stronger, and the list of events looming for us to celebrate begins, I wonder if possibly gift giving is not quite the answer.  Or possibly, the greatest gift to give and also to receive is time.  Either in person or on the phone, but it like our elusive Spring season, is enchanting and fleeting.