$15K Raised For Foster Care Teens 'Truly Suffering' In Pandemic

NEW SUFFOLK, NY — During a pandemic, when restaurant owners are struggling to stay afloat, a North Fork business owner and an attorney and best-selling author teamed up to help the most vulnerable teens in foster care.

"The 2nd Annual Case's for Cases" event, held in New Suffolk in late November, was hosted by Regina Calcaterra, Kait's Angels, and Case's Place and has raised more than $15,000 in contributions and essential items for Birthday Wishes Long Island, an organization that brings birthday parties to children living in local foster care.

"Inspired by 'No More Trash Bags For Foster Kids!", the event aimed to provide "comfort cases" for youth, so they no longer need garbage bags to carry their possessions in the agonizing and ever-shifting search for shelter.

For Calcaterra, an attorney and best-selling New York Times author, the mission is deeply personal: In her book "Etched in the Sand," she opens the doors to the unspeakable childhood she experienced with her four siblings on Long Island.

An abused child, Calcaterra spent her earliest years at the mercy of a mentally disturbed and alcoholic and now-deceased mother. There were dark days when she was a child savagely beaten, hungry, cold, foraging for clothes and food, sleeping in the open trunk of a car — and later, homeless and at the mercy of the foster care system, where she was abused and separated from her younger siblings.

It's with compassion and empathy garnered from grim truth that Calcaterra has become a champion for other children and teens who desperately need help. And now, with the coronavirus, that dire need is escalating, she said.

"We all are having a difficult time coping with daily life in a global pandemic — but our most vulnerable populations, such as our foster and homeless youth are truly suffering," she said. "Most of them do not have parents or any safety net whatsoever, due to circumstances they have no control over. We cannot expect them to pull themselves up and out of their situation if they lack self-esteem and confidence. By raising awareness about their plight, we have also opened up the hearts of others to help us help them."

Having a new comfort item, such as a blanket, washcloth, a piece of clean clothing, as well as essential hygiene items will make a difference in how they feel about themselves, Calcaterra explained. Also knowing that others are thinking about them lifts up their self-esteem. "It’s a simple gesture, but it makes a forever impact," Calcaterra said.

Calcaterra said Maryanne and Ken Birmingham, proprietors of Case's Place, were inspired to launch Cases's for Cases by watching "No More Garbage Bags for Foster Kids!"

"Their enthusiasm was contagious," which resulted in Kait's Angels — an organization created to do good works in memory of Kaitlyn Doorhy who died while away at college — and Birthday Wishes Long Island co-sponsor the first event last year, she said.

"The event was created to help older foster and homeless youth since they are the least served — despite the fact that they are on the verge of transitioning out of care to be on their own with no safety net," Calcaterra said.

This year, with restaurant owners bearing a heavy weight, when the Birminghams learned that Birthday Wishes LI was down 40 percent in contributions and that foster and homeless youth sheltered in their rooms and will have to continue to do so, a team of caring hearts united to help.

"Maryanne insisted on doing what we could to give our youth in need something to look forward to," Calcaterra said.

For Calcaterra, the memories of those early days have shaped her passion for helping teens in foster care.

"As a transient child living in and out of foster homes and homeless shelters with my siblings, our primary concerns were to find a safe place to be, that kept us warm. Then we’d hope for some food. Far down the list of our priorities were items like a toothbrush, clean clothes, soaps, towels, washcloths, blankets, or games to keep us occupied," she said

Calcaterra added: "Our first priority was to get through the day or the week. However, the lingering feeling of wanting to fit in followed us always. To do so we needed essential hygiene items and fresh clothing all things out of our reach. Our vulnerable youth today are no different. Taking care of our most vulnerable population requires us to consider not only their physical health but their emotional well-being. This builds their confidence. And with confidence, you can learn to organize chaos, manage in a crisis, and overcome insurmountable obstacles."

Darla Doorhy, founder of Kait's Angels and Kaitlyn's mother, said, of the event, "Amazing women from the North Fork to Nassau County. Busy hands coming together to help out foster children."

Suffolk County Executive Steve Bellone also acknowledged the outpouring of giving at an event in Hicksville.

According to a release about the event, many of the hundreds of teenagers in foster care and in homeless shelters on Long Island have only a garbage bag to carry their belongings.

Calcaterra is well-known for her work fighting fraud and as a champion for foster children.

She launched her own 100-percent women-owned law firm of eight, Calcaterra Pollack LLP, during the pandemic.

Calcaterra said she was motivated to write her first book after serving as a board member of You Gotta Believe, an organization that works to get older foster children adopted into "forever" homes. Her past has left its imprint on her life and heart and on her siblings, she said.

Inner conviction and fortitude, Calcaterra said, helped her to forge a path out of despair and into a place where she could take charge of her destiny.

"I was somehow convinced that I was dealt a bad hand as a child and that my circumstances were only temporary. Whether this was innate or learned is unclear, but it was something that I was convinced of. I would spend time with friends who came from happy and stable families. I also had enough people in my young life tell me that I could help myself by staying in school and continuing my education. So with positive reinforcement, my own self-determination, plus the resources that were, and still are, available to impoverished societally disadvantaged children, I was able to rise up and out of the circumstances I was born and raised in," she said.

The foster care system in the United States, Calcaterra said, still spends its resources and efforts on preparing teenage foster children how to live independently once they age out of care at 18 or 21.

To those children who may be facing seemingly insurmountable challenges, Calcaterra has a message: "The journey will be hard, long and sometimes dark, but you need to believe in your light because rising above is your choice. Make the right one."

Calcaterra has also written "Girl Unbroken: A Sister's Harrowing Story of Survival from The Streets of Long Island to the Farms of Idaho," with her sister Rosie Maloney; her work was also featured in "Legacy: An Anthology."