Hometown Valentine's Day Love For Woman, 34, Battling Cancer

MATTITUCK, NY — It was a valentine from the heart as the North Fork community came together to shower a young wife and mom battling cancer with a day of beauty and pampering on Friday.

Charlotte Smilovich, owner of Cohen's Fashion Optical in Riverhead, wanted to give back to the community through an eyewear makeover. A friend connected her with Susan Ruffini, president of the North Fork Breast Health Coalition, and Ruffini connected her with Jaclyn Hinderliter, 34 — a mom with a baby, 1, and a toddler, almost 3 —who was faced with a breast cancer diagnosis in November.

From her first idea, the day of love and giving gained momentum, with local business owners treating Hinderliter to a full day of beauty, flowers, a new outfit, and a romantic dinner with her husband to kick off Valentine's Day weekend.

"We wanted to tell her that we love her, that this town is here for her —and that this is only the beginning," Smilovich said.

Last November, Hinderliter was relaxing at home with her husband when she first felt the lump.

Because of her age, Hinderliter never thought she had to even think about breast cancer. The American Cancer Society recommends women at average risk for breast cancer should get yearly mammograms starting at age 45.

"I found a lump, but I really didn't think it was anything. I was completely blindsided," she said.

At first, Hinderliter said, "I didn't think it was anything. I was in denial." Since she'd just gone through two pregnancies, Hinderliter thought the lump might be a hormone-related cyst. She has no genetic risk factors, she said. "I didn't expect this at all."

She got the call on her birthday.

"Even when the doctor called, I didn't think it was anything. I thought he was going to say it was nothing," she said.

The news was hard to take in, she said.

"I think it's hard, no matter what," Hinderliter said. "You hear the word 'cancer' and you're just automatically in shock."

But, she added: "I decided to be open about it from Day 1, to tell everyone what I’ve been going through. A lot of people get the news and want to keep it to themselves, keep it a secret. It helped me, in terms of anxiety, to be open about it."

And, she said, the goal is to raise awareness: "If this can happen to me, it can happen to anybody," she said.

Hinderliter wants to tell her story so that other young women are more aware and can begin self-examinations earlier.

So far, Hinderliter has begun chemo and had two out of six treatments; after meeting with her surgeon and oncologist, it was decided to embark upon chemotherapy before undergoing a double mastectomy, she said.

The first chemo "wasn't so bad, it was manageable," she said. But the second time around, she said, "It was a little more tough."

With two young children, Grant and Ethan, Hinderliter's life is a whirlwind of mom duties, and help her to keep her focus on the positive.

Her children, so young, "don't know what's going on. They're just happy all the time, and I just feed off of that," she said.

After the initial shock of the diagnosis, now, Hinderliter is armed with information and understanding. While the road right now has been challenging, Hinderliter has her sights set on summer, after the surgery, when her treatments have been completed.

"I know there is going to be an end to this," she said.

And she's been buoyed by the community, including the North Fork Breast Health Coalition, which has opened its arms to walk alongside her, Hinderliter said.

Speaking of all Smilovich organized for her Friday, Hinderliter's voice filled with emotion. "She's amazing," she said.

Smilovich said as word got out, the day just got better and better.

The fun began at Main Roots Salon & Blow Dry Bar in Southold, where a full morning of pampering unfolded. Owner Kerry Conrardy greeted Hinderliter with a bouquet of flowers. Next came a hair appointment with stylist Kim Corwin, and a makeup session with hairstylist and makeup artist Ally Reilly.

Conrardy then helped Hinderliter pick out a new outfit.

Next, Hinderliter and Smilovich headed to Epic Nail Salon in Mattituck for a manicure and pedicure, where she was greeted by the owner Henry Hung, who gifted her with another bouquet of flowers.

Other businesses that helped to make the day special included Love Lane Sweet Shoppe, which donated a bag of treats, and Mattituck Florist, which donated all the flowers for the day's festivities "to make her feel even that more special," Smilovich said.

Next, Hinderliter headed to Cohen's Fashion Optical, where she was met by another bouquet of flowers. "Then the big reveal!" Smilovich said.

Hinderliter was brought in the back door, so that she could choose two pairs of new eyewear from Smilovich's new collection, Charlotte Rose Eyewear.

"We snuck in the back door because her husband Darren and mom Carolyn Boeckman came to see the big reveal," Smilovich said.

Hinderliter came out to show her husband and family her new look, and was greeted by Darla Doorhy of Kait's Angels, who had a basket and even more flowers. Ruffini even came for the surprise.

Next, Hinderliter and her husband were able to enjoy dinner at aMano in Mattituck.

"We live in such a great community," Smilovich said. "I literally walked in to pick up bracelets from Love Lane Sweet Shoppe, when it hit me to simply ask them if they wanted to be a part of this special event. Without any hesitation, owner Jackie Wilsberg jumped on the chance to help."

Mattituck Florist and Kait's Angels were soon onboard. "We pulled this off within one week," Smilovich said.

On Friday, Smilovich asked Adam Lovett, owner of aMano in Mattituck, if the eatery would host a special evening for Hinderliter and her husband.

"Since it's Valentine’s Day weekend and Jaclyn was all made up, we thought it would be the perfect ending to a great day," Smilovich said.

But the giving won't end on Valentine's Day, she said.

"New friendships have been formed," she said, adding that she and Ruffini have decided to work together to provide special days for at least four recipients every year.

Along with the many who came together Friday to give her a day she'll remember forever, Hindeliter also thanked the many in the community who have come forward to help, including the Southold Town PBA — her husband is a police officer — who donated funds toward her "cold capping," a procedure during which she wears an ice pack during chemo to help prevent permanent hair loss.

Hinderliter, who works at Peconic Landing, said she still finds it hard sometimes to accept help. "It's a challenge on its own, accepting that you need help." But many, including family and friends, have stepped up to help with the kids and shown her that true community means being there throughout life's storms.

After Friday's festivities, Hinderliter said her heart was full after feeling the love from so many.

"It was great," she said. "It was amazing, everything Charlotte did how generous she is. I don't even know how to express how much it means."

She added: "No matter what the situation and whether you know them or not, there is always someone who wants to support you, or who just wants happiness. I met Charlotte a week ago, but she orchestrated this entire day for someone she didn’t even know — just because she wanted me to have a good day, feel special, and take my mind off of what I’m currently dealing with. Her heart is incredible and I am so so grateful for her and our whole community. The support our family has been offered has been staggering — and we’re so enormously grateful."