Man Shot, Killed In Suicide Standoff Remembered: 'He Was Loved'

GREENPORT, NY — When his life ended outside his Greenport home last Thursday, after he was shot down in a tense suicide standoff that rocked the quiet North Fork community, friends who knew Robert Myers were left shocked, heartbroken — and searching for answers.

The standoff in Greenport led to Myers, who was deemed suicidal, being shot and killed by police after he swung a gun at an officer, authorities said.

According to Suffolk County Police homicide squad detectives, the incident took place beginning at noon on Thursday on Middle Road in Greenport, when Southold Police responded to a 911 call from a concerned individual who said that his friend, Myers, 63, was at home at the location and seemed depressed, suicidal, and had guns.

Southold police officers determined that Myers had barricaded himself in his apartment and had guns, police said.

Officers set up a perimeter and called the Suffolk County Police Department's hostage negotiation team and the emergency service section to assist; the hostage negotiation team established phone contact with Myers and attempted to negotiate his safe surrender, police said.

During the nearly three hours of negotiations, Myers fired numerous shots within his apartment and several shots at officers outside as well as firing at a police armored vehicle; police did not return fire, authorities said.

After ongoing negotiations, Myers agreed to surrender and come out without weapons; however, he exited his apartment at 4:20 p.m. with a long gun and swung it in the direction of an emergency service officer who then fired his weapon, striking Myers in the chest, police said.

Myers was transported via Suffolk County Police helicopter to Stony Brook University Hospital where he was pronounced dead, police said.

After his name was released, friends reached out to paint a picture of a man who lived, they said, far differently than the sad and painfully lonely way he died.

Myers' friend Jessica Terry of Greenport described the tremendous and lifelong impact he'd made on lives and hearts.

"Robert W. Myers was such an extremely talented, energetic, enthusiastic, humorous, kind soul that it’s almost impossible to grasp that he is now no longer here with us," she said. "His energy was so electric it was almost contagious, and when he walked into a room he brought everyone closer together through his fun, witty, outgoing, animated personality."

Terry said she had known Myers for almost 20 years. "He was a very close friend of mine, and my family — and many, many others — as well. When I met Bob he was living in Peconic in a very large, old house which caught fire a few years later forcing him to leave, and look for other housing. For a month he stayed at my mother’s house in Orient until he found a new apartment and it was ready for him to move into. He adored my daughter, Ayda, and loved playing with our yellow lab, Jonah, as well. He loved animals and had a cat, Miss Edna, which he drove to Peconic for to feed every single day for a year until my mom eventually adopted her."

Her friend, Terry said, "definitely had a green thumb so he was also thrilled to be able to garden again since he no longer had his garden in Peconic to work in."

Gardening, she said, brought him great joy. "He planted lily of the valley on the side of my mother's house where she’s never been able to get anything to grow, and they still bloom every year! Also several rosebushes in her backyard," she said.

She added: "It was hard not to get along with Bob because not only was he agreeable, and friendly, but he was also extremely intelligent and knowledgeable about so many various subjects. He had street smarts for sure, and really had a way of talking to people."

Sharing what they knew of his life, his friends tried to piece together a puzzle that has left them heartbroken with grief after his tragic death.

Myers, Terry said, was born in Houston,TX and also lived in Tampa, FL for several years before getting married and moving to New York. He also studied nursing and became an LPN. When he was divorced, he stayed in New York and moved out to the East End, she said, where he worked at Eastern Long Island Hospital for several years before getting a job with the Suffolk County Sheriff’s Office, Terry said.

Myers retired from the Suffolk County government position about five years ago and was then able to turn his focus on enjoying retirement, she said.

"Although he still worked as an LPN doing private duty cases, he also had more time to spend doing things he enjoyed such as joining the Craftsman tools group. He was one of very few to win a trip to New York City for a weekend of activities, and workshops using all kinds of tools," she said.

Terry took the time to fully express all Myers meant to her and her family.

"Bob was very generous. Whenever he would win something he would always think of someone else who would love it and give it to them. He loved to give. He would never hesitate to help anyone in need of anything and would give the shirt right off his back for someone who needed it. He even shared his car with me when I didn’t have one, and he was happy to do it. No matter what the inconvenience, he always wanted to put others' needs first," she said.

Myers, she said, also enjoyed traveling to see old friends, and, when home loved video games, playing computer games such as FarmTown, reading, and watching NCIS.

"Bob cared for an elderly man who suffered a stroke and required special care. The man's wife also needed him for odd jobs around the house that she was no longer capable of doing or weren’t safe for her to do as well as grocery shopping and other errands," Terry said. "After the man moved into a nursing home, she still asked Bob to come to her home and help out although I’m sure it was mainly for his company. She is completely lost without him now; he was doing everything for her and with her. Since neither one of them had any family, I think they really understood each other."

Terry said Myers left a lasting legacy. "Bob will be remembered by everyone and anyone who knew him. At the jail his coworkers loved working with him," she said. Another friend, Mona Lisa, wanted to say how much he meant to them all, she said. "He was always helping others out, whether it be picking up extra shifts for coworkers or doing the brunt of the workload. Bob didn’t mind, he would roll up his sleeves and jump in. He will be missed by everyone, everywhere he went."

And still, the questions swirl. Was it depression? Did alcohol play a role? Sadness over the holiday season? Broken by knowing their friend ended his life, so alone, the questions haunt.

"I hope he knows now how much and how many people truly cared for him back," Terry said.

Myers, Terry said, hadn't had contact with his biological family as an adult. "He considered us his family," she said. "We will not be able to replace him in our hearts or our lives."

Karen Garrett Hardy, a Greenport native who now lives in Vermont, reached out to Patch to share her memories of a lifetime friend.

She last saw Myers in Dec., 2017, she said, when he took her and some friends to dinner to celebrate her birthday. "He looked fine, acted fine. This was unexpected."

Still, she said, there was much that her friend may have kept hidden. "He didn't want to bother anyone," she said.

Sharing her memories, her voice broke. "He was a generous soul," Hardy said. "Always giving."

As a driver for years, sometimes for A-list celebrities, Hardy recalled the times he'd ask his friends if they felt like a ride to New York City.

As an LPN, Myers, Hardy said, worked at Quannacut at Eastern Long Island Hospital before taking a position at the Suffolk County Correctional Facility.

If there were red flags, no one saw them, she said.

"He had access to any kind of help," she said. "The thing is, Bob wasn't the kind of person to ask for help."

Generous and giving, Myers let Hardy and her son live with him for about a year, after her landlord decided to sell their home, she said.

"He became a member of our family, even in Vermont, because he brought us up here to visit my dying grandmother so often. My aunt 'adopted' him and put him in her obituary as her 'adopted grandson,'" Hardy said.

Reflecting on the inexplicable pain, her voice was soft.

"He was loved, loved by everybody. So loved," Hardy said.

Her friend, she said, forever selfless, in so many ways, giving of his time, never asking for gas money when offering rides and opening his home and heart. "He was just a part of us," Hardy said.

Although she believes he was one of eight children, no family has been located, Hardy said; she believes he may have relatives of his mother's and siblings in the Dominican Republic.

And while questions about alcohol have been raised, Hardy does not believe alcohol was the reason for his despair. "That wasn't what killed him. The last time I saw him he was sober and pretty darned healthy," she said.

She questions two songs Myers posted on Facebook the same day he died, "Step in the Name of Love," and "Never Gonna Give You Up," songs she said weren't the kind he usually listened to with friends. "I don't know what he associated with those songs," she said. "Did he fall in love with someone? I don't know. It's just strange he posted those two songs and then, the same day. . . ." she said.

Hardy said her friend did love the computer, even back in the 90s when she lived with him. "He was smart, intelligent," she said.

Trying to seek answers, Hardy said she's reached out to now-retired nurses who worked with Myers in Greenport, friends he'd lost contact with in ensuing years.

Remembering her friend, Hardy said, "He was such a nice, selfless, loving guy."

And, she said, he was funny, a jokester who made Monty Python jokes while handing out medication in jail, sharing laughter with inmates.

"He was loved, for sure — and he was loving," Hardy said. "He just loved people and if had any pain, he hid it. This tells me he had pain and, if he was desperate, maybe he needed someone to shoot him — because he didn't want to kill himself."

The bottom line, she said, is that sadly, no one may ever find or grasp the elusive answer to her friend's deep anguish. "I don't know," she said. "I don't know what he was thinking at the time. I just know that a lot of people loved him. He'll be missed greatly. Everything about him, will be missed."

Friend Stephanie Adriatico agreed: "Robert Myers was a good man. He was a hard worker with a good work ethic. One thing that always struck me about Bob was his kindness. He was always willing to help people in any way he could. From the neighbor whose car wouldn’t start, or a coworker needing a shift covered, Robert would always go out of his way to help friends and others."

His smile and cheerfulness could light up a whole room at times, and it was contagious, she said.

"He didn’t have any family. As, over the years, his friends became his family, I am glad I got to be a part of his family. My brother and I, along with our other friends will always have those good memories of Bob. You will be remembered for your good heart and kindness, that big smile — and who could forget the group hug? Rest in peace, buddy. You will be missed."

Suffolk County Police are looking to contact members of Myers' family; anyone with information is asked to call 631-852-6392.

If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, help is available 24/7. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Patch photos courtesy Jessica Terry and Karen Garrett Hardy.