Regina Calcaterra, North Forkers Join Hands To Help Foster Kids

NEW SUFFOLK, NY— For the second year in a row, a New Suffolk attorney and New York Times best-selling author who has devoted her life to raising awareness about children in the foster care system — after a childhood spent in foster care herself — is working tirelessly to help meet the needs of kids struggling for basic survival.

"The 2nd Annual Case's for Cases" an event to benefit teens in foster care and homeless shelters, will be held on Sunday Nov. 22 from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. at Case's Place, located at 650 First St. in New Suffolk. This year's event will adhere to coronavirus restrictions, Calcaterra said.

"Last year, the North Fork community opened their hearts to over 600 teenagers in foster care and homeless shelters on Long Island," a release about the event said. "This year, they need us more than ever."

According to a release about the event, many of the hundreds of teenagers in foster care and in homeless shelters on Long Island have only a garbage bag to carry their belongings.

The event is hosted by Regina Calcaterra, Kait's Angels, Case's Place, and Birthday Wishes Long Island, an organization that brings birthday parties to children living in local foster care.

"Our goal through Case's for Cases is to pave their pathway out of poverty, abandonment and isolation, with self-esteem and kindness, by giving them a few basic essentials and comfort items in suitable cases to carry them in."

Organizers will provide the cases, raffles and complimentary "Cases to Go" goodie foodie bags "and inspiration," they said. "You donate the essentials and comfort items and your price for admission." The minimum donation is $25. To donate tohis year's event, due to COVID-19, individuals can either do a walk through, drive-by, order on Amazon, or drop off donations.

"Inspired by 'No More Trash Bags For Foster Kids!", the event aims to provide "comfort cases" for youth, so they no longer need garbage bags to carry their possessions.

Suggested items to donate including blankets, throws, easy-to-travel-with pillows, body washes, moisturizer, shampoo and conditioner, loofahs, shower caps, nail polish, files, buffers, tweezers, swabs, ear buds, ear plugs and chargers that work with iPhone or Samsung phones, blue tooth speakers, winter hats, gloves and scarves (male and female), hoodies (m/f), baseball hats (m/f), hair ties, flatirons, curling irons, lighted make-up mirrors, make-up bags, and basketballs.

To donate, bring items to the event, or to Wendy's Deli, located at 55 Middle Road in Mattituck — or order via the Amazon wishlist here. Items will be delivered to Birthday Wishes in advance of the event.

Calcaterra is a successful New Suffolk attorney who has run for political office and is a well-known public persona for her work fighting fraud and as a champion for foster children.

She launched her own 100-percent women-owned law firm of eight, Calcaterra Pollack LLP, during the pandemic.

She explained how the idea for the event was born: "Most youth who are subjected to foster care or homelessness travel from place to place with their belongings in a garbage bag. The goal of Case's for Cases is to replace their garbage bag with a duffel bag filled with essential and comfort items. The journey of pulling oneself up and out of poverty requires self-esteem and confidence which comes in many forms. We are hoping that our efforts can bring a little of that along a very challenging journey."

Maryanne and Ken Birmingham, proprietors of Case's, were inspired to launch Cases's for Cases by watching No More Garbage Bags for Foster Kids!, she said. "Their enthusiasm was contagious, which resulted in Kait's Angels and Birthday Wishes Long Island to co-sponsor their inaugural event. As a frequent Case's Place diner and former foster youth I am thrilled to support this compassionate and much needed effort by the Birminghams," she said. "They are contributing their beautiful and scenic waterfront restaurant, beverages, and appetizers to inspire our community to help older foster youth."

The event was created to help older foster and homeless youth since they are the least served — despite the fact that they are on the verge of transitioning out of care to be on their own with no safety net, Calcaterra said.

Calcaterra rarely shared her painful past until she began writing about her experience in books including "Etched in the Sand," where she opens the doors to the unspeakable childhood she experienced with her four siblings on Long Island.

In the book, Calcaterra shines the light of truth on her past as an abused child, who spent her earliest years at the mercy of a mentally disturbed and alcoholic and now deceased mother.

Dark days spent savagely beaten, hungry, cold, foraging for clothes and food, sleeping in the open trunk of a car — and later, homeless and at the mercy of the foster care system, where she was abused and separated from her younger siblings.

Her work in the public arena as an adult — waging a race against New York State Senator Ken LaValle in 2010 until she was challenged on residency requirements; serving as former Suffolk County Executive Steve Bellone's chief deputy; and as executive director of New York State's Moreland Commission on Utility Storm Preparation and Response, appointed by Governor Andrew Cuomo after having helped residents to recover after Superstorm Sandy — is based on her inherent belief that government can serve to help lift individuals out of the most troubling of times.

Calcaterra said she was motivated to write her first book after serving as a board member of You Gotta Believe, an organization that works to get older foster children adopted into "forever" homes.

You Gotta Believe, a not for profit that works to get older foster youth forever homes, will also be at the event — in case any attendees might interested in becoming a forever parent to an older foster youth. Calcaterra has been affiliated with the organization since 2006.

"Through my efforts with YGB I learned that over 40,000 teens and young adults age out of the system annually to no one but themselves," she said. "I wrote this to give them and the hundreds of thousands of impoverished, abused and foster care children an understanding that they have control of their destiny. That although they were dealt a bad hand, they need to learn how to play it and use their self-determination to pull themselves up and out of their situation. 'Etched in Sand' chronicles that children without safety nets or solid parents have a long, hard and, sometimes, dark journey but if they believe in their light, they will be able to pull through."
Reflecting on the childhoods she and her three sisters and brother shared, Calcaterra said.

"Although revisiting my experiences was tough, it was not as tough as when I shared the experiences of my younger siblings. Writing about what they were subjected to was tremendously painful and it still is today. However, since I shared the manuscript with them as the book developed, I learned that they felt empowered by finally sharing of our story, rather than to do what we have done for decades, and that was to hide from it."

Beneath today's polished exterior, Calcaterra said her past has left its imprint on her life and heart.

"Everyone's childhood impacts them in some way and serves as the foundation of the adult they become," she said. "What my childhood experiences have given me is perspective on what is important in life and to embrace the little things that bring joy. I will never have it as tough as I did as a child so this part of my life is easy. I am learning to enjoy it more it and more."
Inner conviction and fortitude, Calcaterra said, helped her to forge a path out of despair and into a place where she could take charge of her destiny.

"I was somehow convinced that I was dealt a bad hand as a child and that my circumstances were only temporary. Whether this was innate or learned is unclear, but it was something that I was convinced of. I would spend time with friends who came from happy and stable families. I also had enough people in my young life tell me that I could help myself by staying in school and continuing my education. So with positive reinforcement, my own self-determination, plus the resources that were, and still are, available to impoverished societally disadvantaged children, I was able to rise up and out of the circumstances I was born and raised in," she said.

Libraries were the cornerstone of Calcaterra' childhood, a safe haven where she would bring her siblings and embrace books and education — paving the way to her future.

Librarians, teachers, and social workers all influenced her young life. "I was a transient child who moved around a lot that many could have written off as a lost cause, but they didn't," she said. "Although I was in their classrooms, care or libraries for a short time, enough good public servants took the time to impact me positively."

In college at SUNY New Paltz, Calcaterra took a class on International Politics and learned that she was fortunate to have born in the United States in her dire situation.

"Had my siblings and I been born elsewhere in the same circumstances, there is great chance that we would have never survived and had those resources available to us to survive. It is that appreciation for the role that government plays in our lives that drove me to a career in public service. Although for the past 25 years I have moved in and out of public service, I always end up back in it because my experiences have driven me to give back to community," she said.

The foster care system in the United States, Calcaterra said, still spends its resources and efforts on preparing teenage foster children how to live independently once they age out of care at 18 or 21.

"While this may serve somewhat helpful, the resources and efforts should be put towards trying to find them children a forever home," Calcaterra said. "By the time these children are teens they have had many adults in their lives. Ensuring a safety net and a safe place for these children to put their head down for the rest of their lives is a much better use of resources then a 17 point independent living check list."

Personally, Calcaterra said she would rather pursue foster care adoption, rather than fostering a child. "Foster care adoption," she said, "is what makes a lasting difference in a child's life."
Years later, Calcaterra said finding peace and forgiveness for her mother was a journey.
"Closure was a process. Once my youngest sister Rosie moved out at the age of 15, the closure process began and when Rosie finally came back into the my life closure was finalized."

Today, Calcaterra and her siblings are close; a tight family knit with resilience and enduring love. Their shared past is a bond that has sustained the siblings.

To those children who may be facing seemingly insurmountable challenges, Calcaterra has a message: "The journey will be hard, long and sometimes dark, but you need to believe in your light because rising above is your choice. Make the right one."

Calcaterra has also written "Girl Unbroken: A Sister's Harrowing Story of Survival from The Streets of Long Island to the Farms of Idaho," with her sister Rosie Maloney; her work was also featured in "Legacy: An Anthology."