James I. Tilden, 63, Letter Carrier & Co-Founder of Rainbow Chimes, Dies

Submitted by Rev. Katie Roche

Huntington, NY — James Irwin Tilden, 38-year letter carrier, songwriter, and co-founder in 1980 of Rainbow Chimes School for Early Education in Huntington, died at age 63 on October 4, 2014, surrounded by his family.

His wife, Rev. Dr. Kathleen Roche, Executive Director of Rainbow Chimes, said Tilden was diagnosed with Frontotemporal Degeneration six years ago, and that he had elected to donate his brain for FTD research.

“Jim was proud of the Tilden family name and their long history and legacy in Huntington and Greenlawn, but he was quite shy about putting himself forward,” his long-time friend and co-songwriter Bill Titze said in a statement. “Jim was one of the most original and talented people I have had the privilege to know in a very personal way. His talent shone as a light, a warm glow washing over everyone he knew and especially myself. I am a better person because of the personal friendship we had. It was a special treat when he revealed his playful side, or engaged in deep conversations about world events and his life as a father and mailman – and a very special friend.”

James Tilden began his long and eventful postal career at the East Northport Post Office just before the Wildcat Postal Strike of 1970. At one point, he was the Assistant Shop Steward, and later, volunteered as a go-between with the Employee Assistance Program to successfully ease tensions between workers and management. He played on the E.N.P.O. baseball team for nearly his entire career. His frank and humorous book titled ‘11731’ chronicling his years at the East Northport Post Office, will be published posthumously by his family. At his retirement, families on his mail route made written tribute to his career and what his service meant to them personally. “Thank you for sharing with us, through your career” wrote Sally Byrne of Adar Lane, “our birth announcements and mass cards, home improvements, [many] magazines...the flow of college applications and rejections…health and retirement benefits…and back again to flyers and baby announcements [that] have kept your buckets full...in your own way, you have grown with us.”

Tilden maintained a secondary career as facilities director for Rainbow Chimes Early Education Center, and was often lauded for his Halloween production of the Haunted House, a huge community volunteer event attended by hundreds of families each year, when the program was housed at the former Little Plains School.

After his eldest son was abducted across state lines by his ex-wife, Tilden became a staunch defender of Father’s Rights; his case and subsequent award of child custody was incidental to the passage of the Federal Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act of 1980, and later recounted in “Stolen Children” (John Gill, Seaview Books, 1981), “How it Feels When Parents Divorce” (Jill Krementz, Knopf Books, 1984) and Newsweek.

Tilden was a quiet, though prolific songwriter and coffeehouse–style performer, first with childhood buddy Bill Titze, and later on his own, with over 100 largely unpublished songs to his credit. He played several instruments by ear, was a Little League coach, engaged in wine-making, carpentry, and model train hobbies, and volunteered with the Gathering of Light Multifaith Fellowship, serving as its webmaster for several years.

Tilden was born in New York in 1951, to construction worker George Tilden and Barbara Muskell-Tilden, an elementary school teacher and housewife. “I had a Norman Rockwell upbringing,” he would later write. A lifelong advocate of space exploration and longtime reader of the thought-provoking Urantia Book, Tilden was fascinated by the Universe and encouraged individual expression of faith in his children, James Edward Tilden, Ian Scott, Rhiannon, and Griffin Roche-Tilden, and Rodina Deratus-Shamailov. Tilden is also survived by his beloved wife Katie Roche; grandchildren Vincent and Juliana Tilden, Tyler Rochetilden, and Avital Shamailov; and his sisters Joan Drosin and Janet Tilden. A Memorial Service featuring Tilden’s life, stories and music will be held at 1:00 pm on November 8, 2014 at Rainbow Chimes, 320 Broadway-Greenlawn Rd., Huntington. A tribute page has been established at http://james.tilden.muchloved.com. In lieu of flowers, tax-deductible memorial donations may be made to Rainbow Chimes Early Education Center.